HopefulLeigh

The Adventure Begins

Today my journey to Uganda begins.

My carryon and suitcase have been thoughtfully packed. I have a sleeping mask and the LoveFeast journal I've saved for such a time. There are travel snacks and I've stashed a couple of extra shirts in my carryon, just in case. The anti-malaria meds have been procured.

I've crossed off everything on the To Do list. I probably forgot a few things to put on the list in the first place but oh well. The time has come.

At 11:43 am my plane will leave Nashville and take me toward my first connecting flight. I get nervous whenever I travel. No matter where I'm going, no matter how many times I've traveled alone, the nerves accompany me. I just want to get there.

I'll be the first member of the team to arrive late Thursday night, where I'll probably fall straight into my bed at the guest house.

Even though I get nervous, it doesn't dissuade me from traveling. I love experiencing life in other places. It's worth a few nights of interrupted sleep and decreased appetite.

Because I'll be on the plane for a good long while, I let myself go out of control with books. I'm taking 4 physical books and the rest are ebooks. There are other ebooks on my Nook that I haven't yet read but my main reading list can be found in the widget (fyi, affiliate links) below. The things I do for fellow book nerds!

 

 

I'm equally excited and nervous about this trip. I don't want to go in with overly high or low expectations. I am eager to listen and learn. I sense something will come out of this. Some lesson, some friendship, something I will never forget. Maybe someone will impact my life, maybe I'll impact theirs. A watershed trip, so to speak.

If you're of the praying persuasion, please pray for a calm and peaceful spirit, that I would rest in the knowledge that God is with me no matter what happens. Pray for smooth trips out there (and back) and for the good health and energy levels of the She Loves team. Pray that relationships would be built and that we would be open to what God has for us. In addition to the Amahoro conference, we'll be visiting a couple of local organizations. We'll be in Entebbe, Uganda until May 31st and then will head to Burundi and the well dedication. My trip home begins June 4. It'll be here in the blink of an eye.

I carry you all with me. So many have reached out with prayer and encouragement and donations. It's been humbling to sit back and let the love wash over me. You don't even know how much it has meant to me and how very needed the encouragement has been. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Here I go. Here we all go. Let's see what happens.

I hope to write a few times while I'm gone, as well as share updates on the Facebook page and Twitter. The What I'm Into link up will be up Friday May 31. Talk to you all soon!

The Perks of Modern Dating

 

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post for HowAboutWe.  I was provided a free copy of Modern Dating: A Field Guide and paid to host a release party with no expectation that I would provide a positive review. The thoughts, opinions, and reactions are entirely my own.

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, I'll get a few pennies to help support this site, along with my book habit. Thanks for your support!

"You're single right now, and whether it's by circumstance or design, you might as well enjoy it as best you can. Because being single, at least in the way women get to be single today, is a luxury our mothers and grandmothers didn't have." - p. 12

If you are single, chances are good someone has asked you, "have you tried on-line dating?" This question has become the go-to advice for singles.

It's easy to see why. Most of us know at least one couple who met on MatcHarMingle. We also know dating looks different now than it ever did before. Online dating simply must be the answer to our dating woes. (Never mind if we've communicated said woes to the advice-givers. Singleness seems to invite unwanted advice upon itself.)

I've tried 3 different online dating services over the years. The dates I went on weren't horrible but they weren't that great either. After the last stint in 2009, I decided I'd given it my best shot and acknowledged it wasn't a good fit for me.

Up until I read Modern Dating: A Field Guide, I didn't think anything of removing online dating from my repertoire. Don't get too excited but I might just give it another chance.

Modern Dating, written by Chiara Atik, is brought to us by HowAboutWe. I'd never heard of HowAboutWe before the book but it's an intriguing premise. You still set up a profile but you also suggest a possible date in your city. As in, "how about we go to Centennial Park and have a picnic?"

 

There's so much more to modern dating than online dating, however. Texting, Facebook, the rise of the independent working woman- all this has changed the way we date. Packed with tips, how-tos, date ideas, infographics, and insights from industry experts, the book is written for today's single woman. Each chapter is broken down into sections, such as "How to Avoid the Friendzone," "The One-Date Rule, " and "The Worst Six Words to Say on a Date."

It's similar to reading a magazine. Short, sweet (or sassy), and to the point.

The beauty of the book is you can read it cover to cover or you can bounce around from topic to topic. Atik has an engaging writing style. She's in the dating trenches with us.

Not every section will apply. This is not a Christian book so there is a good deal written about sex. I appreciated her emphasis on encouraging women to figure out when the time is right for them to have sex, in spite of the occasional "old fashioned" reference in terms of those who are saving sex for marriage.

This is really a book about dating, not a formula on how to get married. Modern Dating puts the focus where it should be: having fun and figuring out what we want from a relationship. I love when a review copy exceeds my expectations.

***

Friday night I invited a few friends over for a Modern Dating release party. Chocolate, wine, and talking about dating. It's a sure formula for a fun evening.

Half of us weren't in relationships, half were. Some had hardly dated, some dated a lot. One grew up under the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" movement and is figuring out how to date now. We shared our stories and our struggles as we flipped through our copies of the book. We laughed A LOT.

While reading the book, I shared on Facebook that I was considering trying online dating again and they of course asked me about this. We looked through the chapter on online dating and I wondered out loud if it really was another way of diversifying my options. It's not the only way to get a date but maybe there's some fine fellow sitting in another part of town that I would otherwise not encounter.

As we talked this through, one of the women said she was thinking about giving online dating another shot, too.

Rather conveniently for us, the purchase of Modern Dating has a code for 3 free months on HowAboutWe.com. That's a $54 value. I'm almost running out of excuses!

We'll see. I reserve the right to claim denial if you ask me if I've signed up yet.

Forgot to take pictures during the party. So. Wine! Chocolate! Books!

Atik writes, "Know this: 'I don't text' is no longer an acceptable declaration for someone to make. (Not everyone must love it, but surely everyone, if he or she is dating, must DO it.)" As a begrudging texter myself (and often frustrated by men who text incessantly instead of call), I don't necessarily agree. What do you think?

Quiet review

Even though I've always been happiest when I've had the day to while away reading, even though people described me as shy when I was little (to which I disagree), even though large groups exhaust or overwhelm me, I didn't embrace my introversion until early 2012. I read Adam McHugh's fascinating book Introverts in the Church. I loved it so much, I held a weeklong series and still describe it as the most lifechanging book I read in 2012.

Every time I mention I'm an introvert (or my Myers-Briggs type: INFJ), people ask if I've read Susan Cain's book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. I really wanted to read it but there are a trillion books I want to read on my To Read list and so there it languished, until a review copy became available through the Blogging for Books program.

I wish Quiet had been written years ago. I saw myself on every page.

 

 

"Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions." p. 11

Not only did I see myself on every page, I saw that my introversion has always been an intrinsic part of me, even those years I believed I was an extrovert. INFJs are the most extroverted of the introverts, which was part of my confusion, but I also succumbed to what Cain describes as the Extrovert Ideal.

Extroverts are prized in American society at every turn, from business on down to elementary school. Cain spends time delving into how extroversion has seeped into our churches (with a shout out to McHugh and his book, prompting me to say, "I know him! I know him!"), schools, economy, and work environments. She profiles well-known introverts (like Steve Wozniak and Rose Parks) and shows how their introversion helped them in their calling. She also interviews a bevy of experts and every day folks.

The result is compelling. While the focus is on the power and talents all introverts hold, a good deal is geared toward extroversion and what works and what doesn't. Especially the pitfalls of extroversion, which have led us on precarious paths.

For instance, introverts are more likely to be passed up for work promotions and not have their ideas credited or research funded. How many breakthroughs and advances have we missed out on as a result? If they express caution, such as the case of those who spoke up in the months and years before the bank crisis, they're either not heard or not taken seriously. In today's classroom and workplace, group work is expected and preferred, to the detriment of those who do their best work privately or 1:1. I would do horribly in either scenario! It shouldn't be a surprise that productivity often decreases in these scenarios.

We have much to learn from one another and there's a danger when we go to an extreme with either temperament. It's best to let people work out of their strengths and complement each other.

I could have kept reading for another 300 pages at least. It's a fascinating topic, whether examining personality research, delving into what shyness actually is (guess what? I'm not shy!), and detailing the hallmarks of Highly Sensitive People, who can be introverts or extroverts.

I highly recommend it for everyone but particularly those in leadership positions and parents, especially if their personality style differs from your child. The same goes for those who are married to someone with a different personality style. Cain has a way of presenting the information so you can see yourself but also identify areas of improvement.

I have no doubt I'll refer back to Quiet often in the years to come.

 

 

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, I'll get a few pennies to help support this site, along with my book habit. Thanks for your support!

Disclosure: I received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging for Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.