I remember exactly when and how I came across Hollywood Housewife. It was my second week in Nashville and I was over at Tracy's house utilizing their internet. I caught up with email and then perused a few of the blogs I followed, including Centsational Girl who mentioned The Blah Blah Blahger who mentioned Hollywood Housewife. I didn't feel like tackling my post-moving To Do list quite yet so I headed over to Laura's blog and, for the first time in my life, read the whole dang thing. Her writing was so compelling that I couldn't stop. While I'd been blogging about 4 years at that point, Laura showed me what blogging could be and why I should take my writing more seriously. Since then, Laura and I have become blog friends. She is wonderful for so many reasons and I am thankful she's a part of my life. I am so excited to have her here today!
It wasn’t as petty as it sounds, although looking back I can see the youth and immaturity in both of us. My insistence on the kiss, and his refusal, was representative of our constant tug of war, something I feel very sure would have continued into our marriage and for the rest of our lives.
I thought a kiss at midnight on New Years was romantic, and traditional, and just what one does when they’re part of a couple. He thought these things were silly, oppressive, and part of a corporate, conformist culture. And couples, even very young ones, have disagreements like this, that are petty or not so petty, chances to assert their belief system.
But when the clock struck midnight, and neither one of us bowed, that’s when I knew it was over. Such a silly little thing to be such a large proverbial straw.
I know that we loved one another. We loved, in fact, for a very long time before and after the new year. But our souls were not walking in step. Our souls were racing each other, racing from the other.
He was a good person and so was I. He is still a good person, and so am I. Sometimes, in this big and complicated world, this is enough. A good person is hard to find, and sometimes it’s enough. Two good people can sometimes, sometimes make it work well with just that starting point. We probably could have, my non-conformist, non-kisser, and I. But it would have been hard, every day.
When I met the man that I would marry, it was not hard. As our friendship grew, and then later in marriage, there were things that were hard. Circumstances that were hard, disagreements that were hard. But being with him, it is not hard. Our very beings are not only walking together, they are playing together. We feel like natural friends, not natural adversaries.
There were others that I knew were not The One. Sometimes they knew before me, often we both knew but stayed together anyway. I have a lot of stories about the boys who were not The One. My husband doesn’t feel anything like one of those stories. He feels like the most natural part of my life. Part of me, part of him. The One who WAS.
How do you feel about kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve? What tipped you off that your significant other was NOT The One?
