It's Wednesday night. I should finish packing for a long weekend out of town. Instead, I rationalize other activities. Like Twitter. And eating more Brach's Autumn Mix candy corn (it's back, y'all!) And reading a book. Heck, I might even start cleaning.
I don't know why I procrastinate when it comes to good things in my life.
I'm excited to be vacation-bound. Thrilled. I'm headed to Never Never Land, aka Paradise aka Somewhere in the South, for a writing retreat with some of my favorite blog friends. I honestly can't believe I get to spend time with these people. The last few months I've been tempted to ask them, "are you sure you meant to invite me?" Because, honestly. These friends of mine are rock stars.
{All right. So I know I'm worthy of attending and that my friends really like me and all that jazz. But sometimes I need to allow myself a moment of awe and trepidation over the people in my life. The end.}
To spend a whole weekend discussing writing and blogging and life sounds like a dream. It also sounds like a much-needed kick in the pants.
While I feel my writing continues to grow stronger, I find myself overwhelmed by the amount of writing I should be doing. Consequently, I find it hard to work on the things I actually need to work on. A certain paralysis has arisen concerning one particular project and this I cannot have.
I need to sit down and continue working on this project. And yet, it's easy to find other things to do. Even this blog has become an excuse.
And before you even ask, I am thrilled about this project and maybe that's why I'm finding concentration so difficult. When something matters to me, I don't want to fail. Ah, but I do know how to procrastinate.
A couple of weeks ago, my parents visited and I barely looked at social media and blogs, a far cry from my usual day to day. It was like the good ol' days. I didn't have time to write at all, either, but that's beside the point. A full Internet fast isn't warranted- in fact, it might do me in to be completely cut off from my dear ones. But I know something needs to change.
Perhaps this weekend away I'll have the time and space needed to Do The Work. Or maybe it'll kickstart the creative process and I won't need to make any changes. Knowing myself, however, I'm guessing it'll be good to not worry about creating content here for a little while.
Indulge me in taking a break? It seems silly to press pause when I've unveiled the new design and yet this is part of living out my Now. My Now requires a reprioritization. It won't be long and I dare say I'll pop up from time to time honoring commitments. I do have a few book reviews that need to go up and there's my Deeper Family post, too. I hope you'll stick around.
Now is the time to give my full attention to this project.
To follow through on a dream
To let this weekend shape new dreams.
To let myself be.
