HopefulLeigh

So, Hey, I'm Heading to Africa!

In a little more than 2 weeks, I'll be on a plane headed to Uganda. I can hardly believe it's finally here!

This trip fell into my lap back in January. When Kelley asked me to go to Uganda and Burundi with She Loves, I said yes. Without hesitation. Sure, I had to see if I could take time off of work but I pretty much knew I'd be going.

When I said yes to Africa, I also said yes to uncertainty. I've flown internationally before but it's always a little nervewracking when I'm by myself. I know I can do it. But still.

When I said yes to Africa, I also said yes to staying in my duplex another year. May 22, the day I leave, also marks 3 years of living in Nashville. Ain't nobody got time to move before leaving for Africa. My duplex has many quirks, not the least of which is its lack of central air and heat. There are many things I don't like about my house but I've made it into a home. Another year here isn't a bad thing.

When I said yes to Africa, I also said yes to traveling with a team who amazes me. I can't wait to spend time with Kelley, Idelette, Teen, Fiona, and the rest. I've already warned them they're going to think I'm very quiet because I just want to soak up their wisdom.

When I said yes to Africa, I also said yes to relationship and adventure. As Kelley beautifully illustrated in this post, Uganda and Burundi are about more than one narrative or one story. I am going with a posture of learning, ready to listen and hear and celebrate and share. I want to be open to it all, the beauty, the pain, the progress, the need.

When I said yes to Africa, I also said yes to what God will teach me. Do I have any idea what the lesson will be? Nope. But I know it's coming, whether on the plane or at the conference, or while dancing at the well.

If you'd like to partner with me, I'm still raising funds. To donate toward my Amahoro conference expenses:

1. If you would like to give by check, make it out to Amahoro USA. Please attach my name to the gift. You can mail it to 108 West High Street Lexington, KY 40507

2. Or you can go to the Amahoro website and donate via Paypal (there is a fee of about 2.25% of the donated amount or about $22.50 on every $1000 etc.) There's no memo section to attach my name to the gift so please email info@amahoro-africa.org and let them know it's for me. Sorry for the extra step!

3. All gifts are tax-deductible and will be receipted at the beginning of 2014 (or sooner if requested/necessary)

To donate toward my airfare costs, you can send money via Paypal to leighkramerblog (at) gmail.com.  I can't offer you a tax receipt for that but if I have your address, I'll send you a thank you card. And I'll be eternally thankful.

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May 22 I'll leave Nashville and arrive in Entebbe, Uganda the evening of the 23rd. We'll meet with a few local organizations prior to the conference, including an orphanage and a minstry serving former prostitutes. The conference is May 27-31. From there we'll head to Burundi and the well dedication. June 4 I'll start the journey home. WHOA.

Please pray for flights that are on-time, connections easily made, and airports that aren't confusing. Pray for our health and the health of all those attending Amahoro. Pray that lasting relationships would be formed and that we would enjoy our time together. Pray that God would make His presence known through it all.

I plan on writing at least a few times while I'm there and I can't wait to share it with you.

Now that I've shared my good news, I'd love to hear your good news. What's going on in your world? Anything you're looking forward to?

A Symbol of Grief, A Symbol of Hope

One of my favorite pictures with Scottie. We were quite the pals when we were little!

 

Scottie died and I flailed, trying to make sense of the senseless.

We were 22 years old- he a mere 3 months older- when his heart stopped for reasons we'll never know. It used to be Jon-Scottie-Leigh in a cousin clump but now there was no Scottie with his artistic bent and sage wisdom. He measured his words, dispensing them when he felt he had something to contribute and we all learned to listen to this quiet young man.

His quiet demeanor left a larger hole than I knew possible.

The wake ran late and it must have been 8 o'clock before we headed to a steakhouse for dinner. My parents and brother sat with my aunt and uncle and cousin in one booth and I sat with Jon and Adam in a booth across from them.

We perused menus and Jon told me he was buying my drink. I ordered a gigantic strawberry margarita to my parents' chagrin. I didn't need the drink but I needed the drink.

Jon, Adam, and I talked about Scottie, the night we'd just experienced, and the impending funeral. The three of us moved over to the bar after our families headed back to the hotel. We weren't sure we could sleep. Adam bought me an Amaretto Stone Sour and we started talking about how we could honor a life ended too soon.

We talked about tattoos. Adam and Jon wanted to get ones done in Scottie's honor. We knew Pat, Scottie's brother, planned one, too. And as the alcohol rolled around my system, blurring my grief for a short time, I began thinking about what tattoo might memorialize Scottie.

Before the funeral began the next day, I whispered to Aunt Laurie about the idea slowly forming in my head. She loved the thought of us doing this and said she'd do it but she wasn't much of a tattoo person.

Grief made me long for the tangible. I could cry and I did. But I hated the lack of control in this situation, knowing how Scottie went to sleep after work and didn't wake up. 22 years old is so young. Far too young.

I needed to do something.

I thought about my first tattoo for a good couple of years before I actually got it. Here, the idea took hold and I knew there would be no waiting once I settled on the components.

A couple of months later, I walked into a local tattoo shop late Friday night with an image. The artist had recently rendered his own version, simple with minimal shading. I saw it as a sign. I decided to put it on my ankle so I could glance down and remember.

Celtic symbols had long resonated with me because of the beautiful design and my love of all things Irish. I chose a Celtic trinity symbol but not for the spiritual meaning.

When I looked at it, I thought of the past, present, and the future. I appropriated it for my time of mourning. I chose to remember the times we had together when Scottie was still alive, miss him now that he was gone, and look forward to the day we'd meet again in heaven.

Instead of adding his initials and dates of birth and death, I decided to let the symbol stand on its own. Since then, I've lost more loved ones and the tattoo reminds me again that this world is not all there is.

One day there will be no more tears or sorrow.

I look forward to that day.

 

The story of my first tattoo

The story of my third tattoo

 

Linking up with Embodied Stories at A Deeper Story

The Weight and the Wait

The weight settled so gradually, I no longer know when it first arrived. My period of unemployment after graduate school is a blur of Before and After. At first, I confidently proclaimed, “God has a plan, it's all going to work out.” As the months passed by without change, my confidence grew quiet and unsure. Did God have such a plan for me? Did He even care?

A month after graduating with my Masters in Social Work, I headed to Thailand to volunteer with Cross-Cultural Solutions for three weeks. A mini-Peace Corps experience, one of the best experiences of my life. I went because I'd never been out of the country and didn't know when I'd have that much free time again. One last hurrah. Little did I know...

 

Tanya Marlow's God & Suffering series has been an enormous comfort to me. It's a huge honor to contribute there today. Head on over to read the rest and be sure to poke around Tanya's blog. She's a gifted writer and lovely soul.

A Yes In My Heart

A tweet started it all. The notification popped up on my phone and when I clicked over, I read the words three times before they sunk in. My heart hammered out of my chest.

 

Was this for real?

Earlier that day, I'd read Idelette McVicker's post for SheLoves Magazine.  She was discussing her then upcoming trip to Moldova and a few sections grabbed me.

I had a glimpse that even though our God would love for more daughters to experience the joy of these thin places–where Heaven and Earth meet in the going and the trying—too few still are willing. For too many of us, the book is closed and packed away before it’s even opened. We won’t even consider the thought.

- The precious idea tucked away deep into your heart.

- The hope that feels more like wishful thinking.

- The possibility in the distance that makes your heart beat faster.

No room? No eyes to see possibility? No asking or seeking? Then, sadly, also no heart-thumping, bridge-jumping, earth-roaring miraculous finding...Let us be women with a yes on our hearts and a willingness to camp for a while where the seemingly impossible meets our ready feet.

What dreams did I have that I didn't realize? What possibilities awaited? I've had such a good feeling about what this year would hold and it made me think beyond what I'd already envisioned. I couldn't shake those words so I tweeted Idelette. And then Kelley responded and I couldn't believe my eyes.

The invitation was real. Kelley followed up by email and I grew teary-eyed as I read. Not a normal response when I'm reading emails.

I needed to pray and there were logistics to work out but I'd already said yes in my heart.

Even though the family I work for had every right to tell me I couldn't have the time off, they are fully on board. I need only tell them the dates I'll be gone and they'll figure out the rest. 

So here I sit, telling you I'm Africa-bound. I can scarcely believe it. Kelley and Idelette are putting together a team to go to Uganda and Burundi and I am on that team.

Come May 27, I'll be in Kampala, Uganda attending the Amahoro Africa Gathering. Kelley and her husband Claude started Amahoro Africa to provide a "place of mutual learning for African and non-African leaders involved in innovative ministries that build disciple-making communities with an emphasis on justice and mercy."

Does that not make your heart swell?

In the afternoons, we'll meet with African women to share stories and dream and study together. Then once Amahoro is over, we'll fly to Burundi for a few days. SheLoves Magazine is raising money to build a well in Bubanza (it's funded as of last night!!) and we will be there for the dedication.

Surely your heart is about to leap out of its chest? If not, read about the SheLoves trip to Bubanza last year to give out identity cards. Amazing.

I'm telling you all this for a few reasons. First, because I have been swept up in wonder and awe over this Now-moment. What else lies ahead this 33rd year of my life?

Second, you are all such a big part of why this opportunity has fallen into my lap. I often brag about the community here. You are such rich encouragers and faithful readers. This support compels me to keep writing and to keep connecting with others. I never could have guessed at all that blogging would bring to my life and the relationships that have emerged are absolutely the best part.

Third, I'm responsible for paying for the trip. I would love it if you could be part of this process.  I'm hoping for a nice fat tax return to help with plane tickets. The conference itself is $600, which includes meals and lodging. Might you consider helping me? Donating toward my conference costs is tax-deductible. And if you have any tips and tricks for cheap-ish plane tickets to Uganda, let me know!

To donate:

1. If you would like to give by check, make it out to Amahoro USA. Please attach my name to the gift. You can mail it to 108 West High Street Lexington, KY 40507

2. Or you can go to the Amahoro website and donate via Paypal (there is a fee of about 2.25% of the donated amount or about $22.50 on every $1000 etc.) There's no memo section to attach my name to the gift so please email info@amahoro-africa.org and let them know it's for me. Sorry for the extra step!

3. All gifts are tax-deductible and will be receipted at the beginning of 2014 (or sooner if requested/necessary)

 

There's no pressure to give. Part of me feels silly asking but I feel so strongly you all are involved in my send-off. I appreciate you so much no matter what. I'm looking forward to connecting and learning at the conference. I cannot wait to behold the first spray of water at the well dedication! Lives are going to change, perhaps mine most of all.

UPDATE: The itinerary is coming together! May 22 I'll leave Nashville and arrive in Kampala the evening of the 23rd. We'll meet with a few local organizations prior to the conference, including an orphanage and a minstry serving former prostitutes. The conference is May 27-31. From there we'll head to Burundi and the well dedication. June 4 I'll start the journey home.

Any questions about the trip? Let's have some fun with predictions. What else is in store for me this year?

Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart review and giveaway

UPDATE: Giveaway has ended.

I have to confess when I was first approached about reviewing this book, I almost made a knee-jerk decision to decline.

Ever since my Christian Bookstore days, I've had a strange relationship with Christian Living books. I can predict fairly well which will challenge me, which stem from more legalistic theology, which ones are fluff and so on. Needless to say, I'm pretty picky about what I end up reading. I'm even pickier about the books I decide to review, especially because it's that much harder to write respectful criticism.

When I saw the title and a few of the endorsers, I thought, "this one isn't for me." But I paused to think it through and reconsidered for two reasons. First, it's important to read the work of those with whom you might not agree, not only to find common ground but because growth occurs outside of the bubble of sameness. Of course, this doesn't mean you can't grow and learn from people who have similar positions as you do. Second, I remembered watching a David Platt video last summer along the lines of the book premise and wondered how it would stack up.

Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart notes many Christians lack assurance of their salvation. Read that sentence again. Christians, believers, people attending church on a regular basis doubt their salvation. The book seeks to examine the language of salvation churches often use and suggest a more helpful lexicon.

I have friends who would pray the sinner's pray over and over again, just in case the last time didn't stick. We may have grown up in similar churches but it never occurred to me to doubt my salvation. I did, however, pray the prayer twice. Once, when I was a few years old, not entirely sure what I was committing to. The second time when I was 14. My faith has grown and ebbed and changed over the years but I never doubted my salvation. I'm not the target audience for this book but I know people who are.

The author J.D. Greear, lead pastor of The Summit Church in Raleigh-Durham, N.C., says he must have prayed that prayer a 1000 times. He was even baptized 4 times, which makes me wonder what on earth was going on in his childhood church.

Greear leads us through whether God wants us to have assurance of salvation, what belief and repentance look like, and why salvation is about more than praying a prayer. There's much opportunity for legalism in such a conversation but I was relieved Greear didn't go in that direction. In fact, quite a few times, he took a different tack than I expected. It was rather refreshing, given the way salvation and evangelism is usually presented. And that's the whole point of this book.

For instance, it's commonly taught you must be able to point to the moment you first believed. An exact date is preferable. Otherwise, they infer you're not a "real" Christian. Greear, however, disagrees.  "Just because we haven't prayed that prayer (or can't remember praying it) doesn't mean we haven't repented and believed...The point is not whether we remember making the decision to get into the posture [of faith] but whether we are in it now." (p. 41, 45)

I also loved what he had to say about faith and doubt.

I'm glad I decided to read it. It was an exercise in pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I would not normally gravitate toward this subject matter. I didn't agree with everything Greear wrote. I have a few quibbles with some of the examples Greear used. They either veered on cheesy or sent out some unintended questionable messages. But in the grand scheme of things, those are minor issues.

Most evangelicals will appreciate the message. This book will bring grace and freedom to those seeking assurance of salvation, as well as open the eyes of people who view salvation more narrowly. 

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Giveaway:

B&H Publishers is offering one free copy of Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart to a lucky reader. The giveaway is for US residents only. (Sorry, non-Americans!) The giveaway will run through midnight Saturday February 16. I will notify the winner by email and they will have 48 hours to respond before a new winner will be picked.

Just follow the directions in the Rafflecopter widget below to enter.

Update: Giveaway has ended and the winner has been notified.

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Resources:

J.D. Greear's Official Website - http://www.jdgreear.com/
Official Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/pastorgreear
J.D. Greear's Official Twitter Account - twitter.com/jdgreear
Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart Promo Video - http://vimeo.com/45938893

Disclosure: I was provided a free copy of Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart with no expectation that I would provide a positive review. The thoughts, opinions, and reactions are entirely my own.

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, I'll get a few pennies to help support this site, along with my book habit. Thanks for your support!