Disclosure: This is a sponsored post for HowAboutWe. I was provided a free copy of Modern Dating: A Field Guide and paid to host a release party with no expectation that I would provide a positive review. The thoughts, opinions, and reactions are entirely my own.Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, I'll get a few pennies to help support this site, along with my book habit. Thanks for your support!
"You're single right now, and whether it's by circumstance or design, you might as well enjoy it as best you can. Because being single, at least in the way women get to be single today, is a luxury our mothers and grandmothers didn't have." - p. 12
If you are single, chances are good someone has asked you, "have you tried on-line dating?" This question has become the go-to advice for singles.
It's easy to see why. Most of us know at least one couple who met on MatcHarMingle. We also know dating looks different now than it ever did before. Online dating simply must be the answer to our dating woes. (Never mind if we've communicated said woes to the advice-givers. Singleness seems to invite unwanted advice upon itself.)
I've tried 3 different online dating services over the years. The dates I went on weren't horrible but they weren't that great either. After the last stint in 2009, I decided I'd given it my best shot and acknowledged it wasn't a good fit for me.
Up until I read Modern Dating: A Field Guide, I didn't think anything of removing online dating from my repertoire. Don't get too excited but I might just give it another chance.
Modern Dating, written by Chiara Atik, is brought to us by HowAboutWe. I'd never heard of HowAboutWe before the book but it's an intriguing premise. You still set up a profile but you also suggest a possible date in your city. As in, "how about we go to Centennial Park and have a picnic?"
There's so much more to modern dating than online dating, however. Texting, Facebook, the rise of the independent working woman- all this has changed the way we date. Packed with tips, how-tos, date ideas, infographics, and insights from industry experts, the book is written for today's single woman. Each chapter is broken down into sections, such as "How to Avoid the Friendzone," "The One-Date Rule, " and "The Worst Six Words to Say on a Date."
It's similar to reading a magazine. Short, sweet (or sassy), and to the point.
The beauty of the book is you can read it cover to cover or you can bounce around from topic to topic. Atik has an engaging writing style. She's in the dating trenches with us.
Not every section will apply. This is not a Christian book so there is a good deal written about sex. I appreciated her emphasis on encouraging women to figure out when the time is right for them to have sex, in spite of the occasional "old fashioned" reference in terms of those who are saving sex for marriage.
This is really a book about dating, not a formula on how to get married. Modern Dating puts the focus where it should be: having fun and figuring out what we want from a relationship. I love when a review copy exceeds my expectations.
Half of us weren't in relationships, half were. Some had hardly dated, some dated a lot. One grew up under the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" movement and is figuring out how to date now. We shared our stories and our struggles as we flipped through our copies of the book. We laughed A LOT.
While reading the book, I shared on Facebook that I was considering trying online dating again and they of course asked me about this. We looked through the chapter on online dating and I wondered out loud if it really was another way of diversifying my options. It's not the only way to get a date but maybe there's some fine fellow sitting in another part of town that I would otherwise not encounter.
As we talked this through, one of the women said she was thinking about giving online dating another shot, too.
We'll see. I reserve the right to claim denial if you ask me if I've signed up yet.
Atik writes, "Know
this: 'I don't text' is no longer an acceptable declaration for someone
to make. (Not everyone must love it, but surely everyone, if he or she
is dating, must DO it.)" As a begrudging texter myself (and often frustrated by men who text incessantly instead of call), I don't necessarily agree. What do you think?