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It's no secret that I love dessert. It's the reason I went cold turkey for a month. I'm happy to say that dessert has become less frequent, yet more enjoyed since our relationship resumed in March.
I've figured out a few ways to keep my dessert-loving ways under control.
1) Don't keep it in the house. While I have ice cream in the freezer, it's just one kind. If I make dessert for an event, it doesn't come back. No more buying cookies from the bakery- it just means I'll rationalize eating them for breakfast.
2) When I'm offered something sweet, I ask myself if it's worth being my "one dessert of the day." Sometimes it is, but sometimes I decide to skip it, even if I don't have anything else later.
3) Figure out ways to make it personal/single-sized. Just one serving is enough!
A couple of years ago the Chicago Tribune Food section printed a recipe for a brownie made in a mug. It was a tiny blurb and I might have overlooked it, but "brownie" called out to me like a siren song. I quickly became a convert of the Mug Brownie.
It's the perfect pick-me-up! I can't say whether it's healthy or not but it's better than eating a whole pan. In fact, sometimes I just eat half and save the rest for the next day.
Mug Brownie
4 T flour
4 T sugar
2 T cocoa
2 T vegetable oil
2 T water
(optional: dash of salt, 1/4 t. vanilla)
Assemble ingredients and mix thoroughly. It helps to use a small spatula so you can be sure the dry ingredients are thoroughly incorporated.
Microwave for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. It won't be entirely set in the middle.
Be careful- it'll be really hot! Best to cool for a couple of minutes and then eat warm. Top with vanilla ice cream, if you'd like. Then sigh with pure happiness and joy. All is right with the world when you're enjoying a Mug Brownie.
Bonus: Throw in a handful of nuts, chocolate chips, or Reese's peanut butter cups when mixing the batter to take your Mug Brownie to a whole new level. I'm a particular fan of adding a Cadbury Creme Egg during Easter.
Tip: You can use a mug or a ramekin. It's entirely up to you.
Do you have any pint-size dessert tricks up your sleeve? Any variations on the Mug Brownie recipe?
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I can't remember a time without Aunt Teresa. My grandparents moved Teresa and my great-grandmother in with them the year I was born. Great-Grandma's health was beginning to fail and she could no longer care for Teresa the way she needed to. Teresa, you see, was developmentally disabled with the perpetual mind of an 8 year old.
When I hear the phrase "child-like enthusiasm" I immediately think of Aunt Teresa. She loved kittens, stuffed animals, and weddings, especially brides. She loved to sing and celebrate her birthday. She almost always had a bow in her hair. Her chore in my grandparents' home was to do the dishes and she did this cheerfully. She faithfully attended Mass with my grandparents and enjoyed being helpful. You couldn't help but feel loved when Teresa greeted you at the door.
This is not to say that she was perfect. Teresa would get upset if she didn't get her way. She didn't always obey or understand what was expected of her. Her feelings would get hurt, especially if she heard someone refer to her as "retarded." That word, even used as slang, angers me to this day.
Wherever my grandparents went, there would be Teresa. Every so often, Grandpa and Grandma would find someone to stay with Teresa. But for the most part, Teresa was at every family gathering and event my grandparents attended. She was a big part of our lives.
As she had always been there, I never thought of a time where Teresa would no longer be with us. While I knew Teresa and my grandparents were getting older, I could never bring myself to think of the inevitable.
Teresa was diagnosed with a brain tumor in July 2006. The original prognosis was for 3 to 4 months. Proving that a prognosis is little more than an educated guess, Teresa lived for 9 months. During that time, the hospice I worked for took care of Aunt Teresa, thus paving the way for when my Grandma would need their care, less than two months after Teresa died.
Grandma's death overshadowed our family's loss of Teresa. I still don't understand how I managed to deal with two losses so close together, even four years later.
I do know this. Teresa's death prepared me to lose my Grandma, though we had no way of knowing Grandma was sick at the time. In those 9 months, I visited my grandparents more than usual, helping out with Teresa's care or sitting with her for awhile so Grandpa and Grandma could eat an uninterrupted meal. When Teresa wanted me to sleep over, I did, even though it meant braving a snowstorm. That night after Teresa was tucked in bed, Grandma and I chatted for awhile as we watched TV. I have so many more precious memories with my Grandma because of Teresa's convalescence. I have no regrets.
I was with Aunt Teresa on this day 4 years ago when she took her last breath. The night before, Grandma had told Teresa she would be OK, alluding to their inside joke that Grandma would be lost without Teresa. Shortly thereafter, Teresa slipped into a comatose state. I left work early when I learned Teresa was actively dying. I made it in time to gather for prayers and then she slipped away.
Death is shocking, even when you're prepared for it. Even when we've grieved a loss, we can still be surprised by our ability to forget they are gone or our reaction to something they would have loved.
Sometimes when I drive to Grandpa's house, I expect Aunt Teresa will open the door. I think I will hear her familiar laugh as she says my name and pulls me inside for a hug. She was always there.
It's been four years. Today I remember Teresa with her hairbows, her enthusiasm, and the love she had for her "favorite" great-niece.
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The Enneagram has ancient roots, stemming from Christian desert monk and medieval Sufi sources. In the last 25 or so years, there has been more written and discussed about this practice. It helps us identify the ways we hide from ourselves and from God. Last August my friend Mark told me about Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert's book The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective.
It's recommended that one does not explore the Enneagram until they are in their 30s, at the latest early 40s. Too soon and you have not fully developed your character and natural ways of dealing with life. Too late and you are likely to be too entrenched in those responses and unable or unwilling to identify them and change.
One must not enter this lightly. Discovering your type will be freeing in the end but it will first force you to confront yourself, the person that is a sinner in need of grace, who doesn't always make the best decisions, whose instincts may hurt others. We are used to the way we respond; the "dark side" of our gifts isn't always readily apparent. Rohr notes that discovering your type will make you miserable at first.
Why would anyone want to do this if it makes you miserable, you ask? Because understanding your motivations and your root sins need not end with simply identifying them. The flip side of our selfishness is our capacity to love. We see that our type, when we are whole, can enable us to give our gifts to others. We are the best version of ourselves and most open to being used by God. We are given the opportunity to grow and "become more mature, wiser, and integrated" (p. 26.)
The 9 Types:
One: The Need to be Perfect
Two: The Need to be Needed
Three: The Need to Succeed
Four: The Need to be Special
Five: The Need to Perceive
Six: The Need for Security
Seven: The Need to Avoid Pain
Eight: The Need to be Against
Nine: The Need to Avoid
I'd still encourage you to read a book on this. While tests are available, it's more effective to read, ponder, and discuss with others.
Perhaps this is still confusing so I will briefly walk you through Type Two, the Helper.
Twos use their gifts to help others, standing by them during difficult times. "Twos desperately want to be liked and have an exaggerated need for validation" (p. 63.) Their root sin is false pride, as they condescend to those they serve. Twos' identity is wrapped up in being needed, consequently adapting their personality to whomever needs them. Their temptation is to always help everyone else, which enables them to avoid themselves. The dilemma and gift of Twos is that they give others what they want for themselves (the golden rule)- this may not always be what the other person actually wants or needs. Their defense mechanism is repression. The pitfall is flattery, seen by denying who they are to please others. Mature Twos are able to love unconditionally, without any ulterior motives. Their fruit of the spirit (gift) is humility, as they are able to identify their real motivation. The invitation to Twos is for freedom- freedom from manipulating others to meet their own needs and from dependency on others for meaning. Tasks for a Two are to learn to say no and to understand what their own needs are.
Very interesting, isn't it? You may be wondering why I gave that particular example. When I started to read The Enneagram, I was sure I'd be a Two, as I work in a helping profession. However, I'm not. I'm a Four.
What type do you think you are? What are your thoughts about the Enneagram?
Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post.
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