Sophomore year, the first day of school, I stepped into English class. You couldn't help but notice Mr. Harris decorated differently from other teachers. There was a giant drawing of an eye, for one thing.
I found my assigned seat. Nerves always accompanied the first day of school. Once settled in, I looked at the classmates around me.
The girl sitting in front of me turned around and introduced herself: Tracy. Little did we know that moment would birth a closer and truer friendship than we'd ever known.
Sixteen years later, Tracy is still my best friend. Though we've had our ups and downs, Tracy has been a constant in my life since that day in the classroom.
Sometimes I wonder how we became friends, what we saw in each other's 15 year old selves. I wince when I think of who I was then. That anyone wanted to be my friend seems such an act of mercy.
As to how we've stayed friends, there's no mystery. This is our secret: we talk through misunderstandings, rejoice in each other's triumphs, and cry together when words will not suffice.
This is not to say we've always been perfect communicators. We've both grown up a lot since those high school days. Isn't that beautiful? To remember where we came from and who we've grown to be?
Well, I remember at least. Tracy conveniently only remembers my blackmail-worthy stories. Perhaps that's the other reason why our friendship works!
The first time I met her now-husband Joel, I knew he was the one for her. A couple of years later I stood up in their wedding, tears in my eyes, so happy for her but wondering how our friendship would change. We both knew it would. For one thing, they moved to Nashville.
Though our lives look markedly different, we have navigated each change honestly. That is a gift in itself: the freedom to confess worries and fears and envies, the realization that the grass is always greener- for both of us.
To live just 5 blocks away from my best friend after several years of seeing each other just a few times a year, well, I'm absolutely over the moon! I appreciate the way Joel, Tracy, and Anna have allowed me to be a part of their family. Their house is my second home, whether I need a blast of their air conditioning, a hug from Anna, or witty commentary about stupid reality TV shows.
Let me assure you that Tracy is tons o' fun. Whatever we're doing, laughter is sure to follow. She inspires me with her penchant for activity and hustle and bustle.
Most of all, I am thankful for Tracy's insights in my daily life and for the tangible ways we can be there for one another again.
Tracy knows how to ask me the right questions. The questions that make me squirm, call me out, make me think and help me reflect. It's not easy for me to be vulnerable about present-day pain, not even with Tracy. Still, she patiently waits or sometimes just shows up at my door and drags it out of me. She has a gift that way.
The other day we had our own version of Sip n' Stroke on her back porch, glasses of wine and paint brushes before us. The conversation meandered and Tracy brought up something that had bothered her. We talked it through and I thought in that moment: this is what our friendship is all about.
I know that if I need her, she will be there for me and she knows I'll be there for her. I also know that her friendship helps me become a better version of myself.
We need friends that faithfully commit to deepening the relationship in spite of life's distractions.
Friendship takes work. But boy is it worth it.
Who are the steadfast companions in your life?
