Leigh Kramer

What I'm Into (October 2013 Edition)

One step closer to being a cat lady. I'm so impressed with my pumpkin carving skills.

I swear October just started. Has this month been in warp speed mode?

 

Read and Reading:

I can't get enough of the Thursday Next series. I'm waiting for books 4 and 5 to come in at the library. There will be a post soon because THIS SERIES. Jasper Fforde is a genius.

I started reading Walking on Water (L'Engle) last year. It's been a backburner book, one I wanted to savor and so savor I did. Well worth the read for any creative person.

It's always an honor to read a book written by a friend and Sarah Bessey's Jesus Feminist (available November 5) is no exception. Regular readers of her blog may be surprised the initial chapters have less of her lyrical prose but rest assured her prophetic voice grows stronger with each page. I wanted to clap and cheer after reading the last chapter- after wiping away tears, that is. Jesus Feminist bridges the gap between all of us, men and women, married and single, young and old, conservative and liberal, and so on. No matter what you believe about feminism, Bessey offers a fresh look at the Bible's view of women and invites us to have a better discussion. Jesus Feminist is a game-changer in ways big and small. I'm so proud of my friend and the ways God is using her voice. (Disclosure: I received an ARC from NetGalley but thoughts and opinions are my own. Other disclosure: I adore Sarah but her friendship did not sway my thoughts and opinions either.)

I'm just going to say it: I loved Allegiant. I can't say the same about any other final installment of a trilogy. Roth definitely took risks with the direction of her plot and beloved characters but I was impressed by the twists and turns, especially at the end. She did not take the safe route and I believe that makes Allegiant that much stronger of a book. Emotional, yes. But also layered with hope and redemption in the midst of tragedy and disappointment. Not easy to do with dystopian literature.

 

You can see all the books I've read at Goodreads. 

Currently reading: Silver Linings Playbook (Quick), Little Black Sheep (Cleveland), Becoming Myself (Eldredge), Coming to my Senses (Harrad), Thirst (Oliver), Eat With Joy (Stone), Feast (Lawson), A Million Little Ways (Freeman)

(I read 12 books this month.)

 

TV:

Must-see TV: The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Once Upon A Time 

The CW has a show about Mary Queen of Scots called Reign. Of course I'm watching it.


Let the people rejoice: Sherlock Season 3 is coming. (I watched season 1 and 2 this month for the first time. LOVE. Be still my heart, Benedict Cumberbatch.)

Speaking of binge-watching shows, I also started watching Friday Night Lights. Although, I'm not good at binge-watching shows. More like a couple episodes here, a couple there, a couple of paused screens so I can bask in the glory known as Riggins...

 

Music:

New discoveries: Aloe Blacc (I am madly in love with his song Wake Me Up)

Only listened to the new Avett Brothers album once or twice but I liked what I heard. Jury's still out on The Head and the Heart's sophomore effort.

Listen to the What I'm Into 2013 Spotify playlist.

 

Movie:

The documentary Pink Ribbons, Inc. wasn't new information to me- it's hard to work in healthcare and not be aware of the shenanigans that can occur with charities. It's still chilling to see it all laid out, especially corporations peddling food and wares with cancer-linked agents. Best to donate directly to research, instead of buying pink things. And if buying pink is a comfort to you or a way of honoring yourself or a loved one, then be aware of who's selling and how much will be donated and where.

 

Video Worth Watching

I do love a good poetry slam and I was especially impressed by this entry from student Ethan Metzger. Are we brainwashed or are we taught?

 

Whole 30 Update

This summer, I reached the end of the rope when it came to my lifelong eczema. I decided to figure out whether my skin trouble was related to my diet. The Whole 30 is a nutritional reset/elimination diet: no sugar, dairy, gluten, grains, legumes, or alcohol. (So what do I eat? The Well Fed cookbook is great and I started a Pinterest board with other ideas.) I wouldn't do this if I wasn't desperate- it is prime candy corn season, after all. I'm now halfway through and cautiously optimistic. I'm creating new, healthier habits, like actually eating breakfast. In two weeks, I'll start reintroducing food groups, one at a time, and my fingers are crossed some answers will be revealed. (Special thanks to my friend Jen for answering all my questions!)

Things I Love:

• The cowl Ashleigh Baker made (I'm wearing it in my pumpkin picture above)

• Hanging out with blog friends who come to town: Robin Dance, Jamie Golden, Jess Buttram, Bethany Suckrow

• The last handful of candy corn before I started Whole 30

• Enneagram class = AMAZING (Love the group I'm in and the teacher. Only 2 more weeks to go. Sadness.)

• My new Frye boots, bought off of a friend. They are gorgeous.

• My new cardigan from The List, as well as their beautifully packaged October Surprise box. (When I shared pictures on Instagram, quite a few people asked about what The List was. It's a monthly styling subscription service. I've been very impressed.)

• Since my haircut, I've been playing with makeup much more but it's hard to invest in products you're not sure will work or that you'll actually use. So I finally signed up for Birchbox and understand why everyone loves it so much.

• Friday Night Lights- it's worth mentioning again because I'm beginning to believe if everyone watched it, the world would be a better place.

• Scheming about joining the next session of the new Story Sessions ecourse Finding Your Arc.

• Homemade mayonnaise is the best thing on earth. I don't like store-bought mayo but I can't get enough of this stuff!

• I got a free KitchenAid Food Processor thanks to credit card points. I don't know how I survived this long without it.

• My years working at a Christian bookstore groomed me for #AddaWordRuinaChristianBook. I could barely quit coming up with options and my effort was rewarded when Religion News Services and Christianity Today included one of my tweets in their recaps.

• Going to Carvenival at the Williams house. So fun meeting their friends and catching up with a couple I hadn't seen in awhile. Plus, my cat pumpkin turned out to be a contender. Proud moment.

• Drinking tea on rainy days

 

 

On The Blog:

You all loved my Enneagram post, which made me feel special, which made me burst with glee because I'm a 4. Special thanks to Shauna Niequist and Simple Mom for linking to the post. If, Not When was a tender one to write and I'm thankful for the solidarity and understanding response.

 

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What I'm Into Link Up Guidelines:

1. Today’s link-up will stay up for one week. The next What I'm Into link up will be Monday December 2. (Starting a couple of days later due to Thanksgiving.)

2. Link the unique URL of your post, not your blog's home page. Readers peruse link ups months after the fact and you want to make it easy for them to find your What I'm Into post.

3. Please include the What I'm Into button or mention you're linking up with What I'm Into at Leigh Kramer.

4. Visit at least 2 other posts in the linkup!

 

 

What have you been into this month?

Disclosure : Amazon Affiliate links included in this post.  If you click through to Amazon, any purchase you make supports this site.

On Work and Dignity

Maybe it was the thrill of watching my savings account grow toward a goal and then taking $500 of my hard-earned money and buying an '87 Chevy Cavalier midway through my senior year of high school. It was a junker of a car but it was mine. I no longer needed to ride the bus or beg rides off of friends.

Maybe it was writing the first tuition check, a big sum of money, and knowing it was for my college education. My parents paid for half of college and I did the rest. I'm proud that I paid for my education, that I learned to balance work and school and life, and that no matter how tight things got, no matter how many times I had to say no to plans so I could keep saving, I was able to do it. So maybe it's also paying off my student loans, too. My monthly reminder of what college and graduate school gave me.

Maybe it was working at The Christian Bookstore and being given more responsibility. They could see I was a hard worker. They also recognized gifts I didn't know I had. I think of the first time I built a window display and how I went beyond the usual fare. Doesn't everyone create a sailboat out of Father's Day signage? Well, I did and I kept on adding my creativity to every part of that store. Talk about pride.

Maybe it was during my fieldwork placement when I finally got to be a real social worker. Or at least a social work intern. Pressing into my calling. Listening, advising, comforting. Making a tangible difference in heartbreaking situations. Reminding people of their dignity and worth and learning about mine in the process.

It's a job but it's more than just a job. Our work can remind us of our value. Sometimes for bad but often for good. We're more than that, of course. But one job, one met goal, can ignite a spark that changes our lives for better.

 

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Today through Friday, fashionABLE is celebrating its 3rd birthday and offering 30% off its entire online store. Your purchase helps sustain fashionABLE and the women of valor they hire. This is the perfect time to get an early start on your Christmas shopping or buy a little something for yourself.

What I love about fashionABLE is how they believe in the inherent dignity and worth of women and go a step further by investing in women. With headquarters in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, they've partnered with Women At Risk, which helps rehabilitate former sex workers by providing counseling and giving them a way to support themselves and their families. fashionABLE also partners with Modern Zege, an organization that supports women's empowerment by hiring 40 women out of every 70 employees. Love businesses that promote fair wage and hiring practices for women!

Each product is named after a woman working there and contains a card stating what she is ABLE to do because of your purchase. It gives me goosebumps when I read those cards.

I hope you'll take a moment to watch this beautiful video What Happens When You Invest In A Woman. This is the power of your purchase at work.

  

Email subscribers, you may need to click over to the post to view the video.

 

Be sure to hit up fashionABLE by Friday. Will you buy one of their amazing scarves? Maybe snag a wallet from the leather line? Pretty sure the Seble Infinity scarf has my name all over it.

 

Do you remember a time when you felt dignified because of your job or work? Did the video above make you cry, too? (Here's a tissue.)

Disclosure: Affiliate links contained in this post. Any purchase you make will help support this site.

Surprise Parties 101

I like to think of my surprise party planning skills as one of my love languages. Over the years, I've amassed quite a few tips and tricks. I'll go head to head with anyone else who claims to have bragworthy surprise party planning skills. 

Back in 2005, my two roommates and I were only a few months into apartment living. Our 3 bedroom loft apartment was the perfect setting for any gathering. Jen and Donna happened to have birthdays were within a week of each other.

I decided a double surprise was in order.

 

My talented friend Kelly at Love Well has been running an amazing series on birthday parties and asked me to give pointers on how to throw a successful surprise party. Twist my arm! Head on over to read the rest. And if you've thrown or received an awesome surprise party, I'd love to hear about it.

Youth Group Friends and What Was

Youth group met Wednesday night. We'd usually get there early so we could hang out and talk- we always needed more time to hang out and talk. After we'd worshiped and took notes on the youth pastor's lesson, we'd hang out and talk ever more at the church or head over to the Taco Bell down the street.

Friday nights often found us at the Trib. A few of the guys worked at the local office putting together the Sunday paper. Sometimes I'd help out, other times we'd sing along to Tupac and Alanis until their work was through.

Most weekends we'd head to a theater or the basement at someone's house or maybe a coffee shop. A lot of dating went on within our group (myself excluded, at least during high school) but we still spent most of our free time together.

Sundays were for church. First, Sunday School and then the service. Sometimes we'd gather for lunch, especially in the summer. If we went to the evening service, we were sure to pile into a booth at Baker Square afterward for mozzarella sticks and chicken strips.

Those of us who went to the same high school would congregate at the same bench after 7th period until dispersing to activities or home. Becca and I liked to con whomever into giving us a ride home so we could have a reprieve from the bus.

Then there were the winter retreats, outreach events like murder mystery dinners and month-long volleyball tournaments, the DC/LA '97 conference. We wore WWJD bracelets with pride. We gathered in small groups and offered prayer requests and asked for accountability.

At the center of all the talking and the activity was our bond. I'd never had friends like these. I thought our group would be friends forever. We'd defy the odds. 

And then senior year happened. A few of the guys started making different choices and a ripple effect began. Our group collectively judged the drinking we heard about or assumed. We thought their new girlfriends were leading them astray. Did we know about shenanigans or did we simply not like the fact that we didn't know who these girls were? We murmured concern and upped our prayers. These were good guys, we knew, and they just needed to turn back to God.

And yet, I wasn't sure they'd turned away from Him. They still came to youth group, still were a part of the ministry team, still hung out with the rest of us. Sure, the nights they weren't with us were worrisome but I no longer remember what was fact and what was rumor.

My on-fire faith wasn't skin deep but it also wasn't prepared for the reality of life. I didn't know how to handle the ups and downs. I still preferred black-and-white answers to mystery and shades of gray. I needed to have the right answers because I hadn't yet learned the beauty of "I don't know." I didn't know an outside the box faith was possible or that it would save my faith in the end.

As these guy friends edged back a bit, I was starting to ask uncomfortable questions. Not out loud, at least not at first. I wanted to know why we had all these rules and what difference God actually made.

I still went to youth group, still participated on the ministry team, still hung out with all of my friends. Most of all, I listened to those guy friends and whatever initial judgment I felt slipped right out the door.

We were figuring it out. We were teenagers wanting the elusive freedom of adulthood. Not even a year later, I stopped going to church and bent some of those "real Christians don't" rules.

That first Thanksgiving break freshman year, our gang reconvened at Brandon's house and it was like we'd never been apart. We fell into our roles. We caught up for hours and the guys played pranks. I cannot confirm or deny any girl-led antics.

I really believed we'd make it past the inevitable drifting everyone said occurred freshman year of college. I kept listening and asking questions and we loved each other through it all. We did make it another year and then I suppose the differences started to matter too much. We weren't in high school anymore and our gang was no longer a group. I blinked and it all changed. Some of us are still close but I feel the ache of what was.

I look at some of my old friends and wonder why I still believe and they don't. Wonder if their faith exists in other terms. They had such potential. We all did.

 

Linking up with the When We Were On Fire synchroblog celebrating the release of Addie Zierman's phenomenal book. Definitely a favorite read of 2013. You can read my review here.

If, Not When

The sun warmed us as we sat on the dock and chatted, covering all manner of topics but eventually circling back to singleness. We were the only two there who had never been married.

She straightened in her deck chair and turned to look at me.

"You just said 'if' you get married. Do you not think you will?"

I looked out at the lake, the water gently lapping, and sighed. I don't know how long ago I swapped the when out. I've never been good at actively hoping for long unanswered prayers.

"I don't know," I told her. "Some days I feel like it will happen, like God has offered me some reassurance. Other days it seems impossible. We're not guaranteed a happy ending. There's a lot to like about being single and I think I should just resign myself. Stop getting my hopes up."

I swiped at the tear sliding down my cheek. We talked awhile and then headed inside to rejoin the group.

Friends ask about my dating life, assuming I meet eligible men left and right, and I love them for it. The truth is it's been almost two years since my last real date. I'd rather forget about the pseudo-dates sprinkled in between.

My goal is to go on a date by next fall. I don't know how this will happen. I've given online dating enough tries. None of my friends seem to know any worthy single guys and I've never had a knack for picking up a man in a grocery store, even when I've forgotten to take my name tag off. (True story. That happened last week.)

I was part of a tight group of friends throughout high school. While everyone dated each other, none of the guys wanted to date me. Or if they did, they never actually asked me out. My first date was a set up with the friend of a friend when I was 17. We went to see the Nutcracker ballet and it was fine and awkward, the way first dates can be. We never went out again.

Before I started college, people said I'd be batting interested guys away with a stick. Well, that line of interested guys never materialized. I certainly didn't need to bat anyone away. Maybe the occasional drunk guy at a frat party but a firm and gentle "no" usually did the trick.

The rest of my dating history has been filled with false starts and missed chances.

No matter how badly I wanted to be in a relationship, I've always had just enough discernment to say no to the guys who would be bad for me, to rebound relationships, to settling. But it doesn't take the sting away.

It seems impossible that I am 33 and have never been in a serious relationship. Impossible that I've never figured out a reason why or even that I feel there must be a reason. (I know there's not a reason.)

Look, I know I'm young. It could happen at any moment. I hope it does. But I also know marriage was never promised to me- to any of us.

When I was young, marriage was a given. People grew up and they got married. Sure, I knew a few people who married "older" but they were the exception to the rule. I never expected to be an exception. I know plenty of men and women my age and older who are still single, still waiting.

That's a lot of exceptions.

People tell me to be glad I don't have the baggage that comes with break ups and broken hearts but we all have baggage. We've all made mistakes.

There's real pain in the baggage of never being picked.

From not being pursued. From not being asked on a second or third date. From never hearing, "I love you" from the one you love.

It's a painful reality. Some days I'd give anything for there to be a reason because then I could fix it. But there isn't a reason. No matter what I've tried, the right man simply hasn't come along.

I say "if" to make peace with an unclear future and pray I'll accept whatever my lot may be.

While I wait, sit with me and listen. Let me wrestle it out. Let me have hope one day and resignation the next. Remind me of who I am. May that be enough.