Leigh Kramer

What I'm Into (October 2014 Edition)

Still lusting over Kristin's window seat and built-in bookshelves

"There is a lot of dwelling in this interim space. Dwelling and waiting are different things. To dwell is to believe that you are rooted for a time, perhaps a long time, and you create routine and method in this space. To wait is simply to anticipate, there is no need for routine or even method, except to distract." -Tables in the Wilderness, Preston Yancey

I've carried this passage with me since June when I inhaled the pages of Preston's book. I am in a season of dwelling and October has made that patently clear. There's been a big step forward (new part-time job!) but still much to figure out. And so I'm rooting myself in this space and believing in the fruition of time.

 

Read and Reading

Moriarty is in her element with Big Little Lies. Nearly impossible to put down, I was kept guessing almost to the end. This is strong work with a satisfying resolution. Her exploration of a complicated issue (domestic violence) is to be commended. 

Our Great Big American God (Turner) is an engaging look at the ways America has changed God to suit its needs throughout the years, starting with the Puritans and on up to the present. I learned a good deal about past popular teachers and preachers, as well as the way they viewed and interacted with God. Much of this set the stage for the Moral Majority and TV ministries we are begrudgingly accustomed to today. Turner spares no one and his POV is readily apparent. Many people would benefit from reading it but they may not receive its message because of the occasional snide tone. Still, I commend Turner's work and hope it will provoke more engagement on how patriotism and religion have crossed each other's lines. (Full disclosure: I received an advance copy but all thoughts and opinions are my own.)

If you haven't yet read the Outlander series, it might be time to start. Book #8 Written in My Own Heart's Blood highlights Gabaldon's genius with the epic tale. Jamie and Claire have become akin to old friends and the progression of their story warmed my heart. But Gabaldon doesn't spare her characters from the reality of the time period(s), which results in a more honest albeit heart-gripping (or horrifying) plot twists. Here's hoping the next few years pass quickly until we have book #9 in our hands!

I don't normally read historical fiction but I'm glad I gave My Notorious Life (Manning) a chance. The style of dialogue and writing in general took some getting used to but I was quickly drawn into Axie's story. The honest depiction of childbirth, women's issues, and men's privilege forged Axie's path in life as a female doctor in the 1800s. Regardless of what you believe about birth control and abortion, you'll be moved by Axie's decisions and the ways they play out the rest of her days. 

I read Pastrix and I listened (twice) to her phenomenal interview on On Being with Krista Tippett and now I want Nadia Bolz-Weber to be my spirit animal.

We'll be discussing Writing Down the Bones (Goldberg) next month on The Red Couch. My introductory post will be up next week. Hope you'll join us!

 

You can see all the books I've read at Goodreads. My fiction and nonfiction recommendations, comprised of books with 4 or 5 star ratings, are on Pinterest.

Currently reading: We Make the Road By Walking (McLaren), Amazing Grace (Norris), New and Selected Poems: Volume 1 (Oliver), The Great Santini (Conroy), How to Be a Christian Without Going to Church (Bean)

 

(I read 10 books this month.)

 

TV:

Must-see TV: Madam Secretary, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, Once Upon a Time

I was skeptical about Jane the Virgin. The premise sounded so cheesy but I gave it a chance and it is quite possibly my new favorite show. It's also making me nostalgic for "also based on a telenovela" Ugly Betty.

 

Music:

New discoveries: Scars on 45

Last week my best friend and I went to see Tiffany (yes, that Tiffany) perform at Thistle Stop Cafe for their Thistle Thursday series. I loved singing along to her 80s hits but I was also blown away by her voice. She can sing. Like, really sing.

Listen to the What I'm Into 2014 playlist.

 

Things I Love:

• I am completely obsessed with Serial, the new podcast from This American Life. Serial follows one true story over the course of the season, leaving us anxiously awaiting for a new installment each Thursday. How will the investigation end? Nobody knows but I'll be in it for the long haul. Start with episode 1 and work your way up.

• I got to take care of nanny "baby" at the beginning of the month. It did both of us good to hang out for a day. Missed her so much.

• I visited Kristin and Jason for a weekend, finally getting to see their new house. They're such good people. It was great catching up, talking Enneagram, and getting to be part of their world. I joined in on their monthly dinner party with friends and the food and conversation blew me away. I joked I was going to drive back every month for it and I'm not entirely sure I was kidding. Honorable mention: Jason's fancy cocktail making skills.

• Coffee With Authors event with my friend Jen during the Southern Festival of Books. I didn't go to any other SFB events so I'm especially glad I carved out time for this one.

• Meeting up with Ashley Snyder and hearing more about The Known Project. She's a keeper.

• Finally meeting Ariel Lawhon! She is a true delight. We've followed each other on Twitter for some time and it was such a treat to trade stories and talk books. I'm glad we're transitioning to a real life friendship. Also, let the record show she greeted me with a bag of books. Somebody knows my love language!

• Literary Starbucks is one of the best things on the internet

• Rebekah Lyons is good friends with many of my good friends so when she first moved to Nashville a couple of months back, I introduced myself via email. We grabbed coffee a couple of weeks ago and I instantly understood why my friends speak so highly of her. I walked away feeling inspired and hopeful.

• Talking the night away with Amanda. She's one of the best people I know and my heart is always fuller after time together.

• #OneDayHH

• Sarah Bessey is one of my dearest friends but she lives forever away in Canada. Last weekend she came to Indiana to speak so I drove up to spend time with her. I loved seeing her in action and treasured our stolen bits of conversation.

• The other great part of my time in Indiana was getting to be with Mihee Kim-Kort and her family. Mihee is a fellow Deeper Story writer. Loved getting to know her and her husband better and I'm grateful they let me crash on their couch so the visit could happen.

• Making caramel apples and carving pumpkins with my best friend's family. I love these fall traditions.

• I'm a part-time legal assistant now. The job came together quickly and seamlessly. It's a brand-new world and I think it'll be a really good thing.

• I have been wanting to get back on track with exercise for some time and yoga in the comfort of my home seems to be the best way of doing so. I'm doing a Mastermind & Body Program through Stay At Home Yoga and while I'm still not a perfect student (making space for exercise is haaaaard), the poses I've done so far have changed everything. I'm noticing a huge difference in my alignment and how my back feels when I sit and stand. Amazing.

• Lore Ferguson has been a blog friend for a few years or more. She designed the header here and did a bunch of work for The Enneagram Coach. Her friendship and writing has meant the world to me. Monday I happened to see she was in town for a conference and we made a last-minute coffee date happen, which was truly magical. It wasn't nearly long enough but I'm glad we could finally be face to face.

• Tam Hodge's molasses cookies! I couldn't stop eating them. It was so good catching up with her and hearing about her upcoming book.

• The Frankie Collection is my favorite Popbasic collection thus far. I can't get enough of their basic tees and the skinny belt will be put to good use.

 

In the Blogosphere:

The best posts I've read are compiled on Storify.

If you only have time read one post, let it be The Culture of Blechh.

 

Favorite Instagram:

Decisions, decisions.

(If you want to follow me on Instagram, my user name is leighkramer.)

 

On The Blog:

I wrote a love letter to myself, celebrating just how far I've come and showing off the pretty pictures my friend took of me.

On the Leigh Kramer FB page, I told you what my niece-in-love thinks I'm the best at and shared a super short test that proved surprisingly accurate in providing Myers-Briggs types.

 

<div style="width: 250px; margin: 0 auto;"> <a href="http://www.leighkramer.com/blog/what-im-into" rel="nofollow"> <img src="http://www.leighkramer.com/What%20I%27m%20Into%20button.jpg" alt="What I'm Into" width="250" height="188" /> </a> </div>

 

 What I'm Into Link Up Guidelines:

1. Today’s link-up will stay up for one week. The next What I'm Into link up will be Friday November 28.

2. Link the unique URL of your post, not your blog's home page. Readers peruse link ups months after the fact and you want to make it easy for them to find your What I'm Into post.

3. Please include the What I'm Into button or mention you're linking up with What I'm Into at Leigh Kramer.

4. Visit at least 2 other posts in the linkup!

 

An InLinkz Link-up

 

What have you been into this month?

Disclosure : Affiliate links included in this post.  If you click through, any purchase you make supports this site.

I Didn't Speak Up

Last month I stayed with an old grammar school classmate while on a road trip. Rachel moved out of state after 8th grade graduation but thanks to the magic of social media and technology, we've reconnected in recent years. To the point where it makes perfect sense I'd stay with her family for a night.

She pulled out old photo albums and we laughed over hairstyles and outfits. God bless the 80s and 90s. We looked at class pictures and exclaimed names we hadn't thought about in a decade or two. Where were they now? What ever happened to them? Did they leave after 4th grade or was it 6th? Do you remember when...?

For my part, I try not to think about the grammar school where I spent 9 years. 

It wasn’t all bad, of course, but those junior high years about killed any warmth I could possibly feel for the place. Yet the school is a part of me, always under the surface.

Stories poured out of us, these pictures and classmates unlocking a dormant part of our brains. We may have looked up people on Facebook. For the sake of research.

We joked about a reunion where we wouldn’t have to talk to most of those people. We just wanted to know who was doing what. Had any of the “predictions” at 8th Grade Banquet come true? Where had we all landed? Who still claimed Christianity as their own?

Ours was a Christian grammar school, each day starting off with Bible class. Memory verses swirled through classrooms and we could recite the books of the Bible blindfolded and all this was not enough to circumvent the cruelty punctuating our interactions.

I’ve kept in touch with only one other classmate and we’ve both commiserated over what we survived, while knowing we never bore the worst brunt of teasing and bullying. The classmates who did? Their names are etched in my mind. I’m haunted by what they experienced, not because I dished it out but because I probably laughed a few times at their expense and because I never spoke up on their behalf.

I wasn’t part of the popular group but I wasn’t the least popular either. Sure, I was afraid of having any more of that junior high vitriol directed my way but I was raised better than that. I was raised to befriend the lonely and downtrodden and I could barely do it then.

Sometimes I don’t know if I do it now.

I walked a tightrope those days, mired in depression and suicidal ideation, and I still cannot believe the teachers didn’t see my pain. Maybe they didn’t understand it, maybe they didn’t know what to do but it felt like they turned a blind eye and it certainly seemed they did the same to my much maligned classmates.

Or maybe that’s what I say to absolve myself of my own inaction.

I wish I could see those grammar school days with the perspective I have now. I wonder if I should track down a few of those classmates and apologize for not speaking up. Would it mean anything to them? Would it drag up memories they’d rather repress?

I consider what I endured and know I’d only want an apology from the offenders. It’s not likely to happen. I doubt they remember what they said or did but I hope they feel uneasy when they consider our school days. I hope they one day realize the damage they left in their wake.

20 years have passed since I moved on from grammar school. Life can feel at times like junior high with popularity contests, gossip, bullying, battling it out over who’s right and who’s wrong. As if many of us never outgrow the way we communicated (or didn’t) back then.

I wonder if that’s why the teachers gave the popular kids a free pass.

It’s taken me years to untangle the treatment doled out at my Christian grammar school. People have said “they were just teenagers,” “maybe they were in pain themselves,” and “they clearly weren’t following Jesus.” This could all be true but it doesn’t account for the environment in which these behaviors and attitudes incubated. I have yet to encounter elsewhere the level of meanness I experienced and witnessed there.

Where was the disconnect? Why was a Christian school the place I felt least safe?

Why couldn’t I speak up?

 

This post was originally published at A Deeper Story.

 

Photo credit

The Known Project

A couple of months ago I went to Dream Year Pitch Night event. Ben Arment had just released his book Dream Year and Pitch Nights were held all over the US in promotion of the book but really to promote people living out its message.

I'm on Arment's newsletter list, which is how I first heard about it. When I saw a friend was planning the Nashville event, I thought it could be a fun night. This is how I first encountered Ashley Snyder.

Ashley was one of several people who made a pitch that night and when she talked about The Known Project, I knew immediately I wanted to be a part of her vision.

Ashley believes everyone has a story to tell and she goes a step further in creating a safe place for them to share it. Watch the video to see what I mean.

 

How often do we feel truly seen and known? How often do we really see other people?

Ashley and I have since met for coffee and let me tell you: she's the real deal. I believe in what she's doing and I don't know the role I'll play in it but I do know I'll be cheering her on along the way.

The next Known Project event is happening in Nashville Saturday November 8. If you're in town, please consider joining us and listening to the stories shared. Let me know if you'll be there!

Think about whether you feel seen. Think about what your secret might be and think about who you might tell. Think about how your story could change the world around you. Think about how someone's story could change your world.

One Day

Wednesday October 22, 2014 marked the return of #OneDayHH: our chance to post the beautiful and mundane moments of our day on Instagram. This is my friend Laura's brainchild and I loved doing it last year. This year proved to be just as fun, not only to share my own pictures throughout the day but to see what friends were posting. It was the next best thing to hanging out in person.

I don't have normal days anymore. Each day is different and the routines change as a result based on where I'm working and what I'm doing. It's strange to think about last year's #OneDayHH and how I was still nannying at that time. I'm glad I have a record of that day.

Here's what Wednesday looked like for me.

I woke up like this. Parting is such sweet sorrow, bed. I could burrow under the covers forever. #bedhead

Sustenance. Also in denial about running low on Anniversary Tea.

Makeup. This is all I need.

Getting myself into trouble. I blame @jenrclapp. (At McKay Used Books.)

Boo: they're out of Pumpkin Joe-Joe's. I'll have to wait to try them until next year.

Yay: Ciabatta rolls, Salsa Verde, Pumpkin Spice Rooibos tea, and more. Bless you, TJ. Bless you indeed.

In case you haven't guessed, this isn't a normal day for me. Or is it? I'm in a transitional season and wear a few different hats work-wise. Right now I need to finish a blog post (book giveaway!) for tomorrow. #amwriting

I've been a dedicated NPR listener for a few months now. I swear it keeps me calmer when I drive. Also I know all kinds of random stuff.

 

 Babysitting my niece- and nephew-in-love for a few hours. She's in ballet class and he's napping while we wait nearby. I feel like a pretend mom.

And then he decided napping was overrated. Fortunately, he is as pro-snuggling as his auntie.

Nothing strikes fear into my heart like hearing, "do you want to play a game?" But I'll do just about anything for this girl. #nieceinlove

 I stop in at least once a week either picking up or returning books. Today was a drop off. #booknerd

Blog reading, writing, and OK YES Facebook.

I'm doing a Mastermind & Body Program through Stay At Home Yoga and while I don't do the poses as often as I should, I'm amazed by the improvement already in my posture and alignment. Love that I can do it at all at home or wherever I might be.

Making stir fry, washing dishes, and listening to TED Radio Hour. Maximizing time in the kitchen.

 Some people end the workday by putting on yoga pants. I prefer to swap my contacts for glasses. On deck: dinner and E! News.

It usually doesn't take all day to read the newspaper. Looking forward to a lot of sitting, Pumpkin Spice tea, and candy corn tonight. Also conquering the crossword puzzle!

Crossword done. Now it's time to read in my favorite spot. All the other stuff can wait. My book club is discussing Pastrix on Monday, which is just the excuse to finally read it.

A few years ago my brain subconsciously decided if I couldn't share my bed with a man, I'd share it with books. Totally normal, right?

Thanks for sharing #OneDayHH with me. Goodnight!

How to Bake a Man review and giveaway

I've been in a food memoir phase for several years now. I can't get enough of them. There's not as much food fiction out there but I'm hopeful this is about to change. A couple of years ago TLC Book Tours contacted me to review Erica Bauermeister's The Lost Art of Mixing, which I loved. Because of this, I came to straight to mind when they began setting up the book tour for Jessica Barksdale Inclan's How to Bake a Man. (Deal alert: only $2.99 on Kindle right now.) Giveaway details at the end of this post.

How to Bake a Man is an enjoyable chick lit read.We follow Becca through a mid-20s crisis, which results in her throwing off others' expectations and starting her dream job. Becca figures out her small business as she goes with the help of her mother and quirky neighbor Sal. This alone was a promising premise but then things became complicated as we meet the law firm employees where Becca sells her baked goods. Yes, there's a love interest. Yes, that love interest is dating the woman from hell. Yes, that doesn't deter Becca from developing her crush.

(Here I need to say I'm tired of plotlines where the hero or heroine is in a relationship with someone else, especially when that someone else is so obviously horrible, and especially when it appears the reader (or viewer- I'm looking at you, Hallmark Channel) is supposed to root for infidelity.)

Each chapter starts out with a description of a cookie or other baked item. Both the description and the treat play a role in the ensuing pages and was one of my favorite parts of the book. Bonus: the recipes are included in the back of the book. I also liked Becca's wry observations about dating, which I greatly related to.

"I always say," my father goes on, "that when all else fails, go to the movies. You never know what you'll find."

I stare at them, wishing they had another story, one that didn't involve a chance encounter. One that involved years of painstaking internet dating or a pen pal correspondence while Marcie was in jail, on death row for killing the second wife with the rope in the library. But it wasn't anything more than the miracle that all those around me seemed to be experiencing.

"I'll take your advice," I say, my voice a weak monotone. "The movies."

I had a hard time putting it down. I liked seeing Becca follow after her dreams and how this set into motion a bunch of other positive changes into her life. Very encouraging to me as I'm the middle of my own transition season. I liked the character development that occurs with her mother and neighbor Sal. The eventual love interest is an unexpected choice but it works.

In the spirit of honesty, I give this book 3 stars. I liked it. But there were a few minor snags.

Becca has quirks and neuroses. She is 27 years old but seemingly an immature 27. I kept wondering if I was viewing my own mid-20s with rose-colored glasses but I couldn't see myself or my friends in Becca. I often didn't understand her decisions or the way she related to certain people in her life. But maybe I'm just persnickety.

Like I said, I couldn't put it down and that's just the right kind of effect chick lit should have. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make some Peanut Butter Kiss Cookies.

To learn more about Jessica Barksdale Inclan, visit her website.

 

Giveaway

TLC Book Tours is giving away 1 copy of How to Bake a Man. This giveaway is open to everyone! The giveaway will end next Thursday October 30 at midnight. The winner will have 48 hours to respond before a new winner will be selected. To enter, please leave a food-related comment: your favorite cookbook, food memoir, thing to eat, etc.

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. You can see other book tour participants here. Affiliate links included in this post.