I've always been a night owl. I wasn't more than a couple years old before I started trying evasive bedtime tactics. Anything that would allow me to stay up a few more minutes.
As I grew older, I started going to bed when I was told but that didn't mean I fell asleep any sooner.
Starting in junior high, nights would come with only a few hours of sleep at best. At first, the insomnia was infrequent but by my sophomore year of college, entire weeks would pass where I slept no more than two or three hours a night.
Of course, I tried different remedies to help me sleep. Nothing helped.
My insomnia seemed to be worse when I was stressed but it didn't always correlate. It became something I lived with. I'd get weeks or months of regular, for me, sleep and then weeks with very little sleep. I was tired, so tired, but I functioned.
Then in 2007, my grandma died. I was a hospice social worker and grieving the biggest loss I'd faced thus far. Sleep offered no solace. This time I knew I needed a lasting solution. (You can read the whole story in the book Not Alone, where my essay is included.)
In desperation, I borrowed a good dozen books from the library about sleep and insomnia. I pored over all of them and they seemed to have the same suggestions, which had already proved futile for me or which I was disinclined to try, i.e. sleeping pills. Then I picked up Desperately Seeking Snoozin' by John Wiedman.
Wiedman introduced me to the concept of a sleep schedule and this changed everything.
The sleep schedule retrains your body into a healthier sleep pattern. Here's how it works.
- Calculate how much sleep you need to stay rested. We'll call this S.
- Then using S as your guide, use what time you need to get up in the morning and subtract S from it. This will determine what time you need to go to bed. Use this handy bedtime calculator if you need help. It's based on 90 minute sleep cycles.
- You are only in bed for whatever time you determined to be S. Even if you don't fall asleep right away. Even if you go to bed later than your new bedtime. When your alarm goes off in the morning, you must get up. No hitting the snooze button. Just get up.
- You must do this every day and night, without fail. Go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time. Even on the weekend.
- No naps allowed. Naps will throw off the new pattern you're developing for your body.
In 2007, I guessed I needed 7 hours, 45 minutes to feel rested. At the time, I started working from home at 8 and would wake up at 7:30 or thereabout. My sleep schedule became going to bed at 11:45 pm and waking up at 7:30 am.
This meant no more staying up until the wee hours of the morning to finish reading a book. No more sleeping in on the weekend. No longer relying on the snooze button for 9 more minutes of sleep.
I could still stay up late hanging out with friends or going to shows but I had to get up at 7:30 regardless.
IT WAS TOUGH.
But it changed everything. After a couple of weeks, I noticed myself actually getting tired as 11:45 approached. I didn't fall asleep right away but it started taking no more than half an hour to an hour. This, my friends, was revolutionary.
I've been using the sleep schedule ever since.
My Other Tricks
The sleep schedule dramatically improved my sleep but that doesn't mean I haven't experienced insomnia since. When I'm stressed, insomnia likes to make an appearance for a night so I've developed an arsenal of tricks to keep it at bay.
First, there's my bedtime routine. This is the complement to the sleep schedule. I start this about an hour or hour and a half before lights out. I take out of my contacts, wash my face, and so on. Then it's reading time. I rarely read fiction right before bed because it's the equivalent of saying, "I don't feel like sleeping tonight." Having at least 30 minutes to read helps my body transition from wakefulness to being ready to sleep.
Second, dietary changes. Doing the Whole 30 in Fall 2013 showed that dairy and nuts exacerbated my eczema, which affected my sleep. But I've also noticed that having those things can cause insomnia. It explains so much.
Third, if I do have dairy, I take doTERRA DigestZen essential oil as soon as possible and then take melatonin before bedtime.
Fourth, I practice mindfulness. My thoughts race constantly. Mindfulness helps me be aware of my thoughts and consider why they're coming to attention. I might use this time to pray or meditate but often I try to center my thoughts and focus on peacefulness.
Fifth, during stressful seasons, I take melatonin before bedtime because I need extra help shutting my mind off.
Sixth, the newest addition to the arsenal: I use the 4-7-8 method. You breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. Keep repeating until sleep comes. By doing this, I am falling asleep within 15 minutes, instead of the usual 30 minutes to an hour.
A good night's sleep is crucial to being healthy and saving your sanity. In fact, I'll go so far as to say it's saving my life during this season of transition.
What tricks do you have for beating insomnia?
