Twin Cities. I rolled the idea around my mind and didn't so much as flinch at the association with winter. I knew but I didn't yet know.

******

"When a person is at home in his life, he always has a clear instinct about the shape of outer situations; even in the midst of confusion he can discern traces of the path forward." To Bless The Space Between Us- John O'Donohue p. 82

When I decided to move to San Francisco last spring, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I only knew the jar lid clicked and it was the next right step. A couple of weeks after I accepted my friend's housesitting offer, a job offer also materialized and just like that I was no longer moving there for a summer adventure.

I couldn't believe it. I still can't.

I moved to San Francisco sight unseen and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made. 

I told a friend the other week I feel like I've come into my own this past year. San Francisco with all its mystery, imperfection, and beauty has been what I needed for the past 15 months.

I moved without any expectations. It was my second big move and I knew this would be the bigger transition. I was open to however it would play out.

I was right: it was the next right step. Once I arrived, I realized it was a stepping stone to the next right step. Whatever it would be. 

******

Everyone told me to prepare for the fog.

When I drove across the Bay Bridge for the first time last June, the blue sky teased me with its beauty and the sun lured me all the way to my new neighborhood. My eyes flitted back and forth between the road and the view, all the while taking in my surroundings. My immediate thought was, "this isn't home." I shook it off, thinking it was just a reaction to how new and overwhelming everything was. I rationalized that Nashville had immediately felt like home because I'd visited a bunch of times before I moved there.

I needed to give it time.

In the months that followed, I found amazing friends and I've found so much to love about San Francisco, from the ocean sunsets to easily accessible pho. I could see why people wanted to move here and stay forever. Sure, I was regularly aggravated by the limitations of public transportation, the lack of parking, and how expensive it was to live here but I adjusted. While San Francisco continued to feel like a stepping stone instead of a permanent place to land, there wasn't an expiration date for living here. I thought I might stay one year, three years, ten years.

And yet if you want to live in this city, there are concessions to make. As I cast a vision for the rest of my life, I knew it wouldn't be sustainable to stay long-term. Eventually I'd have to make a decision.

******

I've learned a lot about how my intuition works this past year. There's the jar lid click when everything aligns and I'm ready to act. Before that, there's the tuning fork.

An idea pops into my head and my whole body stands at attention. It recognizes the call.

This is something.

Ponder it. Learn more. 

Whatever you do, don't ignore it.

This is the way forward. This is how you will align your life.

******

It was an unusually sunny day in late May. I sat on the patio reading All The Single Ladies and looked at the ocean every few pages. The book was blowing me away but it was hard to compete with the view. Plus, it gave me a chance to process what I was reading.

I read the chapter about what cities have meant for single women over time and thought about where I have a concentration of friends.

A second later, the Twin Cities popped into my head. I didn't dismiss it out of hand, even though I had sworn a few years prior I'd never live north of Illinois because of how much worse winter would be. It was hard living so far from family and friends, something I hadn't felt while I still lived a less than 8 hour drive away in Nashville.

I rolled it around in my mind and tried it on for size. It felt...right. 

I thought about my 6 year reprieve from winter extremes. I thought about just how many people I know in the Twin Cities.

I paid attention.

 *******

"There should always be a healthy tension between the life we have settled for and the desires that still call us. In this sense our desires are the messengers of our unlived life, calling us to attention and action while we still have time here to explore fields where the treasure dwells!" -John O'Donohue p. 26

Throughout the spring, I read a number of novels featuring librarians as main characters. It made me wistful. Librarian had long been one of my dream jobs. But you need a Master's degree to be a librarian and since I already have an MSW and had sworn I'd never go back to school, I thought it would stay a dream job.  

One Saturday in June I started to wonder just where exactly one would go for their MLIS. And how much it would cost. And how long it would take.

Surely it wouldn't hurt to learn this information. It didn't mean I was going to do anything crazy like go back to school and incur more debt when I was so close to paying off my student loans.

I searched. I read. I geeked out. I pictured myself working at a library and couldn't stop smiling. I looked at the map of schools. 

St. Paul arrested my attention. My heart began pounding.

Well, surely it wouldn't hurt to request information...

******

By the end of June, the jar lid clicked: I wanted to be a librarian and I was going after it. There was no denying how perfect this career path is for me: books plus systems plus organizing. Be still my heart! I mean: why didn't we think of this sooner?!

By mid-July, I'd settled on what school I wanted to go to.

In August I flew to the Twin Cities for what I privately called a vision trip.While I moved to San Francisco without first visiting it, I couldn't do that again. This wasn't my first time in Minneapolis-St. Paul but the last time I'd visited had been more than a decade prior.  

I stayed with friends. I got to see a few sights. I ate a lot of good food.

I absorbed how wonderful it was to be back in the Midwest.

It felt like home.

 ******

My last day in San Francisco is October 4. As you can imagine, I have a wild mix of emotions about leaving, including no small amount of denial. The past 15 months here have been incredible. Not all perfect but it's been a remarkable season of growth, renewal, and ocean sunsets. I'm excited about what's ahead but I am so sad to be leaving dear friends and have I mentioned I'll miss the ocean sunsets?

There is much that is unknown about returning to the Midwest. I'll be looking for full-time work and I'll need to apply for school but the plan is to freelance and start the next phase of education in June. I feel strongly I need to get out there and see what happens. As moving to San Francisco was the next right step that has led me to this next right step, getting to Minneapolis will show me what the next right step will be and I can't wait.

"Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you." -For A New Beginning, John O'Donohue

Golden Gate Bridge, as seen from the Land's End Labyrinth

It doesn't feel like August in the Bay but as I told a friend the other day, I'll never be mad about sweater weather, even if it's in the summer.This month turned out to be rather surprising and filled with logistics and decision-making and good books and soul stirring conversations and even a quick trip thrown into the mix. 

Read and Reading

I'm a little swoony over Shatter Me (Mafi.) Gorgeous, unique writing, though I can see how it might not be for everyone. It was spot on for me- I wrote down so many quotes. We get a stream of conscious from Juliette, complete with repetitions and lines stetted out. It made the action feel that much more immediate. I really felt like I was there with Juliette and Adam, which made it a hard book to put down. I'm really drawn toward stories about people with unusual abilities who go from seeing them as a curse to seeing them as a gift. I'm curious to see how this will play out for Juliette in the next book. Also curious to get more of Adam's story. He's dreamy yet mysterious and I hope Juliette is right in trusting him.

I loved Bracken's take on time travel in Passenger and especially loved the main characters. She takes the novel in such interesting directions with Nicholas being a freed (biracial) slave and the complications that develop for that time period (and others) when he and Etta contemplate romance. The ending threw me- it had been a 5 star read up until that point- but I'm more than willing to see where Bracken takes us with book 2. 

I love a good past-present story and A Paris Apartment (Gable) fit the bill. April goes to Paris for work to escape her life so she doesn't have to make a decision about her husband's infidelity. We come to see that "escape" is a common theme in April's life and it makes some of her decisions more understandable, even if I didn't agree with them. I loved learning more about her job as an appraiser. I don't think I'll ever look at furniture the same way. It was uneven in places but that could be more because I did not understand or agree with April's passivity, nor why Marthe's story mattered so much to her. Her relationship with Marthe- the long dead original owner of the apartment she's evaluating- bordered on co-dependent. That said, I did enjoy learning more of Marthe's story through her journals. There was some lovely character growth and while I feel uneasy about Luc's (Parisian solicitor) role, I was sad when the novel ended.

The first chapter of Missing, Presumed (Steiner) perfectly captured the horrors of online dating. (Although Manon and I respond to those horrors VERY differently.) That's not what the plot is about but I loved the picture it painted of our main character and how her singleness factored in to the coming events. Fast-paced with lots of twists and turns, this was quite the enjoyable ride leading up to a deft combination of people and events. While I was impressed by all this, the last chapter was a bit of a letdown, if only because I am not such a forgiving person when characters behave badly.

I included Necessary Trouble (Jaffe) in my August New Release round up post but I cannot stop singing its praises. If you asked me a month ago what the Tea Party and Black Lives Matter have in common, I would have said, "nothing." But after reading Necessary Trouble, I can now point to any number of post-2008 movements and see the common threads. Whether Walmart employees or environmental activists, Jaffe shows how the deep dissatisfaction with and anger over the present state of affairs has been channeled into action and change. It's no longer business as usual. People are risking arrest and starting movements to disrupt the system and it is often working. (Glory be!) Jaffe shows each movement's strengths and struggles and I was particularly impressed by how she delved into the racism of certain segments of the Tea Party. I also loved the emphasis on intersectionality and the way class was highlighted as a common bond. Well researched and incredibly engaging, I underlined and asterisked my way through this book. It's a game-changer and definitely going on my Favorite list for 2016. If you read it, let's discuss. (Disclosure: I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.)

You can see all the books I've read at Goodreads. My fiction and nonfiction recommendations, comprised of books with 4 or 5 star ratings, are on Pinterest.

Currently reading: The Complete Enneagram (Chestnut), The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness (Alexander), To Bless The Space Between Us (O'Donohue), Left Of Boom: How A Young CIA Case Officer Penetrated The Taliban And Al-Qaeda (Laux), The Wangs. Vs. The World (Chang), Assata: An Autobiography (Shakur)

(I read 20 books this month.)

Music:

New discoveries: Cobi, Basia Bulat, Kathryn Calder, The Weather Station

Listen to the What I'm Into playlist.

Podcasts:

In The Baby-Sitter's Club Club, Jack and Tanner are going book by book through Ann M. Martin's beloved series with hilarious results. I was trying not to laugh out loud on the bus while they discussed the Gothic and Marxist influences present in Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls. (But also: they had a point. Who knew?!)

My friend Laura Tremaine launched her podcast Smartest Person In The Room and it is amazing. She's started us off with the Hollywood series and I was fascinated by her interview with Disney screenwriter Phil Johnston in the first episode. I learned so much!

Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile launched their Enneagram podcast The Road Back To You, featuring short interviews with people about their type (i.e. Shauna Niequist talks about being a 7, Nadia Bolz-Weber talks about being an 8.) Their forthcoming book releases in October and it is fantastic. 

I've been delving into Overdue's archives and loved their discussion of A Prayer For Owen Meany and did not stop laughing when Dame Margaret and Dame Sophie took on the problematic Flowers In The Attic.

Code Switch has been on fire! Struggling School, Or Sanctuary?, Say My Name, Say My Name (Correctly, Please), and Nate Parker's Past, His Present, And The Future Of "The Birth Of A Nation" are all well worth listening to.

I really appreciated The Lively Show #162: A Lively Adventure- What Knowing Feels Like (& What To Do When You Don't Know).

In The Smart Podcast, Trashy Books archives, episode #118 Discussing Rape, Trigger Warnings, And Also What We're Reading made me think about the importance of including trigger warnings for rape when I'm writing book reviews. It's not something I've thought to do if it's not a major part of the story but their discussion was eye opening.

The Popcast's episode #156: Pop Culture Comforts and Deconstructing Ryan Lochte was great not only because there was a personality type segue I inadvertently contributed to but also because I now hold the coveted title: Friend Of The Show. Yesssssssss.

Making Friends on Reply All about blew my ever loving mind. I had never heard of Tulpas (intelligent companions imagined into existence) before and while it sounds like imaginary friends for grown ups or a mental health diagnosis, I guess maybe it isn't??

Things I Love: 

• I'm super grateful for the friends who dropped off food and flowers and who took me to medical appointments while I was convalescing from kidney stones and for all the rest who offered to help. It meant so much knowing I could turn to them.

• After having the house to myself for most of July, the family I live with returned from their vacation. It was so good to be reunited, especially with darling Ace.

• I won a Goodreads giveaway! This is the second time it's happened this year. Maybe my giveaway luck is changing.

• I also won an ARC of Katee Robert's forthcoming novel. If there's an author you enjoy, make sure you follow them on FB and join any private FB groups they have. Between advance excerpts and giveaways and insights into their writing process, it is more than worth it.

• I flew off to the Twin Cities for a long weekend to catch up with friends. Kelly, Allison, and Chris Ann took me to Ox Cart Ale House for dinner. We started off at the roof top bar but had to move downstairs due to a storm. They were apologetic about the weather but I was in heaven. I have missed the rain so much! Plus, dinner with these friends is perfection no matter what else is going on.
• I stayed with Kelly for two nights and got to hang out with her kids and experience her town. So much fun!

• Addie (and her kids) took me to Minnesota Center for Book Arts (amazing!) and then we walked across the Stone Arch Bridge. Then we tucked into some fried food at Wilde Roast. I was thrilled to see the restaurant had a sign welcoming all refugees and Muslims. I'm all for businesses standing up against hate in tangible ways!

• Then I stayed with my friend Annie for a night. We ordered food in and talked the night away before watching the Olympics. It was so normal and right and completely relaxing.
• In the morning, she and her friend took me on a long walk by two lakes in her neighborhood. The weather was perfect! It was beautiful and I left my phone at her house so I have no pictures of any of it. 

• My friend Rachel is moving away so we met up for dinner at Nopalito and one last outing to Holy Gelato. I've loved getting to know Rachel and her husband this past year and I'm so glad they've been a part of my SF adventures.

• Two Bossy Dames' newsletter. Every week it is an absolute delight. Sophie and Margaret are also excellent follows on Twitter.

• I caught up with Cara, which was must-needed since we hadn't seen each other since FFW. Oakland is just a bridge away and yet I never go into East Bay, which constantly surprises me. It's good to get out of the city.

• Micha and I ordered our favorite Chinese food from Nan King in honor of her birthday. Nothing says "here's to another year!" like their amazing spring rolls.

• Laura T. and I had my favorite chicken pho for lunch and then we stopped by Batter Bakery for some phenomenal cookies. I'm going to need more of those cookies in my life.

• I had hoped to see the sunset at Sutro Baths but it turned foggy the night I planned to meet up with Laura P. So we turned to Plan B and checked out the Land's End Labyrinth. What a view!

• My stylist Gaby at Modern Salon is a hair whisperer. She also told me my eyebrows are amazing and I've never felt so happy about my low maintenance beauty routine and good genes paying off. If you're in the Bay Area, I highly recommend her.

• I actually solved an HaBO at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books! This may be the first and only time my Robin Jones Gunn knowledge has come in handy.

• The September issues of In Style and Vogue!

• I'm presently away at an off-site for work so I'll add in all the awesomeness later. I really love my coworkers and last year's off-site was so much fun!

Favorite Instagram:

When friends ask if they can help, always say yes. So much loveliness results.

(If you want to follow me on Instagram, my user name is leighkramer.)

On The Blog:

I shared the 5 pillars of my ideal single life, something I've spent a lot of time thinking through and then living out the past several months. 

What I'm Into Link Up Guidelines:

1. Today’s link-up will stay open for one week. The next What I'm Into link up will be Saturday October 1.  

2. Link the unique URL of your post, not your blog's home page. Readers peruse link ups months after the fact and you want to make it easy for them to find your What I'm Into post.

3. Please include the What I'm Into button or mention you're linking up with What I'm Into at Leigh Kramer.

4. Visit at least 2 other posts in the linkup!

What have you been into this month? 

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