The Garden Of Small Beginnings- Abbi Waxman 

My Review - 5 Stars

Do you ever start reading something and think, "you are my kind of book"? Because that's what happened when I started the first chapter of this novel about a woman whose husband died a few years prior and is not quite ready to move on. Given the subject matter, I wasn't prepared for how hilarious it is. Clever prose and double entendres are my catnip.

Lilian's husband Dan died in a car accident in front of their house 4 years ago. He'd been on his way to work and they'd just had an argument.The accident and Lili's grief is woven in seamlessly throughout the book and it is one of the most honest depictions of grief I've encountered in some time. (I used to be a hospice social worker so I read books about grief with a keen and critical eye.) Lili is not unhealthy in her grief per se- she's been actively working with a wonderful counselor for quite some time- but she's in a rut and generally okay with it. She's decided her life with her daughters Clare and Annabel is enough.

She's given a special project at work. As the illustrator for a vegetable book for Bloem, she's signed up for their 6 week garden class. She brings the girls and her sister Rachel and we are introduced to a delightful cast with her fellow gardeners. We get to know Frances, Eloise, Gene, Angela and her son Bash, and Mike. They're an unlikely crew but community results as they spend time helping each other with the gardens at their respective homes. 

This group, as well as the class instructor Edward Bloem and Handsome Bob ("Just before four, Bob stepped back from his work and stretched. We all watched. It was like an art exhibit, you couldn't not look, it would have been rude." p. 98), has a big impact on Lili's life, as you might guess. But the way it happens is pure delight. The class members accept each other as they are and yet no one is the same at the end of the 6 weeks. Plus, the metaphor of gardening is a powerful one and I loved its similarities to Lili's grief and growth.

Similarly, I loved the depiction of Lili and Rachel's relationship. They're sisters and best friends. Rachel really stepped it up after Dan died, particularly once Lili had to go to the psych ward, and since Lili's recovery has been a major source of comfort and distraction. It's not a codependent relationship because Rachel keeps nudging Lili toward reentering her life instead of passively experiencing it. And Lili calls Rachel out on her stuff too. We get to see Rachel change some of her own patterns and this development was utterly lovely. Like I almost clapped my hands with glee. Truly. 

Anyone who is a parent will appreciate and relate to Lili's home life. Clare and Annabel are precious and difficult and charming in the way children can be. Lili and Rachel have a complicated relationship with their narcissist mother and Lili often compares how her mothering her own children is different. I was really impressed with how Lili handled her mother and the strategies the sisters have developed over the years. There's a lot of compassion and grace amidst the boundaries that reflects real life.

After Dan died, Lili put all of his unwashed laundry in ziplock storage bags and every so often she takes the bags out and open them so she can smell him again. It was such an unexpected detail and told me a lot about how Lili was functioning. Lili feels Dan would have grieved better but she was the one left behind. The day in and day out of grief is disrupted by the gardening class and her attraction to Edward. She's drawn to Edward and he to her but she's not ready to date and doesn't think she ever will be. She's still deeply in love with her husband and much of this book centers around whether or when she'll be ready to move forward.

"'There is something comfortable for you in the life you've built, even though you're deeply sad still, and lonely. It's a rut, but it's your rut, do you know what I mean?'" p. 186 -Lili's therapist Dr. Graver

I don't know how to properly convey how much I loved this book. I wrote down so many lines because of how crisp and witty they were. 

Each chapter is separated by a short garden tip and you might be tempted to skip these but that would be a mistake. Concerning cucumbers, you'll learn that "water droplets on delicate leaves become magnifying glasses in the sun, burning the plant and really pissing it off" (p. 90.) No one wants to piss off a cucumber plant! And I'd hate for you to miss this fun fact about garlic: "In spring, as the weather warms up, shoots will appear and neighborhood vampires will retreat" (p. 112.)

This is laugh out loud funny, tender, and written in a fresh voice. I knew from the start I'd found something special and I wasn't disappointed.I cannot believe this is Abbi Waxman's debut! This will be on my Favorite Fiction of 2017 list, mark my words. 

Synopsis

Lilian Girvan has been a single mother for three years—ever since her husband died in a car accident. One mental breakdown and some random suicidal thoughts later, she’s just starting to get the hang of this widow thing. She can now get her two girls to school, show up to work, and watch TV like a pro. The only problem is she’s becoming overwhelmed with being underwhelmed.

At least her textbook illustrating job has some perks—like actually being called upon to draw whale genitalia. Oh, and there’s that vegetable-gardening class her boss signed her up for. Apparently being the chosen illustrator for a series of boutique vegetable guides means getting your hands dirty, literally. Wallowing around in compost on a Saturday morning can’t be much worse than wallowing around in pajamas and self-pity.

After recruiting her kids and insanely supportive sister to join her, Lilian shows up at the Los Angeles Botanical Garden feeling out of her element. But what she’ll soon discover—with the help of a patient instructor and a quirky group of gardeners—is that into every life a little sun must shine, whether you want it to or not…

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Disclosure: I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links included in this post.