My friend Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy hosts an annual linkup for people to share what's saving their life right now. I love the idea and the inspiration but I've never participated before this. 

I'm in the middle of a hard season and I'm even more intentional about self-care and conserving my energy as a result so I thought it might be nice to reflect on and list out the things that are indeed keeping me going right now.

Good books

Reading is what keeps me sane. Here are several of my favorite reads from this past month: Susanna Kearsley's The Shadowy Horses, Alisha Rai's Wrong To Need You (second book in series), Renée Adieh's The Wrath & The Dawn, an advance review copy of Austin Channing Brown's I'm Still Here (preorder it!!!), Nicola Cornick's The Phantom Tree (also an advance review copy), Lisa Kleypas's Cold-Hearted Rake, Laurelin Paige's Dirty Filthy Rich Love (book two of a romance duology and not for everyone), CD Reiss's Hardball, and Helen Macdonald's H Is For Hawk. Good books fill up my soul.

Christmas mug from Pen And Paint

Look, I know it isn't Christmas anymore but how can using a mug that says Be Filled With Cheer ever be a bad thing? I love it so much, I hand wash it every day just so it's ready to be used in the morning again.

Tea

Right now it's coming down to Harney & Son's Green Tea with Coconut and Yorkshire Gold. Echinacea Plus from Traditional Medicinals is helping boost my immune system and when I was felled by a cold over Christmas (because I forgot to bring the Echinacea tea with me!), Gypsy Cold Care and Throat Coat got me back to rights.

Bookstagram

The book community on Instagram is absolutely incredible. My Instagram account morphed into a bookstagram account this past year and in August I made an intentional choice to make it all books all the time. 

No matter what is going on in my life, I always have books. Instagram went from being something that made me feel bad to something that has brought me great amounts of joy. I love figuring out how to share what I'm reading in visual form and connecting with other book nerds.

The Healing Attitudes

Of all the things I've learned about myself since figuring out my Enneagram type almost eight years ago, the Healing Attitudes have been one of the best, most healing tools. They're in my go-to resource Riso and Hudson's The Wisdom Of The Enneagram. Each type has three phrases that open them up to another way of doing life. They're gentle, even though they seem impossible at first. 

I've been repeating the healing attitudes for Type Four for a few years now and it's made a world of difference. There's still one that I can't quite believe is true, especially in seasons like this, but I have hope one day I will. And in the meantime, the others are good to remember on the hard days.

Mantras and Meditation

Similarly, I've been incorporating more mantras this past year to stay centered. At night when I'm having my usual difficulty falling asleep, I repeat "I am tired. I'm ready to rest." I breathe in on "I am tired" and exhale on "I'm ready to rest." My thoughts tend to race at bedtime and having a mantra to latch onto helps calm my mind down enough to fall asleep. Well, that and melatonin or Olly Sleep. 

The other mantras keep me grounded. I first learned about mindfulness about 15 years ago in my Dialectical Behavior Theory class in grad school. (Learning how to meditate as part of class was AWESOME.) I've found I do better when a mantra is at the center of my mindfulness practice. I'm not always good about taking time to meditate but I am trying to use either the Headspace or Insight Timer apps more regularly. It makes a difference.

Nayyirah Waheed's poetry

After admiring Nayyirah Waheed’s poetry the past few years, I gifted myself a copy of salt. and lo it was an excellent decision. Here’s to the revolution. 

Team Leigh

My friends are to be praised. They have taken good care of me, especially the past few months. Allison regularly signs off her emails or texts about being Team Leigh. I'm encouraged by how many people are rooting for me—and regularly remind me of that fact. It makes a world of difference.  They have helped in tangible ways, whether it's passing my resume along or treating me for tea. So often a text or Vox has arrived at the exact moment I needed it. To know my friends believe in me and believe good things are ahead means more than I can say.

I have to give special acknowledgment to my friend Megan. A number of months ago I asked some friends to check in on me regularly and she has been there so consistently. It can feel all kinds of risky and vulnerable to ask for help so to have someone follow through the way Megan has spoke volumes. It helps knowing I have her in my back pocket, only ever a text away.

Thoughtful presents from friends

Whether it's literary tea from my best friends or Jane Austen socks from Micha or a book candle from Amanda, these thoughtful Christmas and birthday gifts made me feel so seen and known and loved. Gifts are my number one love language but it's never the fact of a present but the meaning behind it. These gifts had so much meaning. 

Staying (mostly) Facebook-free

Sometime in November, I stopped using Facebook for the most part. While I still post things on my blog Facebook page, I stopped sharing articles and pictures and status updates on my personal account. I stopped checking in on most of the groups that I'm part of. I just stopped.

There was no grand epiphany. Simply a recognition that I did not have the emotional reserves to deal with Facebook. As an Enneagram Type Four, envy and comparison is my greatest struggle and when I'm stressed, it's really hard for me to be on Facebook. Even if I know people are putting their best foot forward, it's hard for me not to compare their best with my current reality. And it's extra hard for me to notice how many likes and comments other people's posts get compared to mine.

I usually take a couple of social media breaks per year but they've never been more than a few days- a week at the most. It's strange to only go on there to post something to my page account but it's liberating to not think about what or how to share something on my personal account. I'll scroll through the first few things on my newsfeed, look up specific pages or friends from whom I want an update, and then I'm out. It won't last forever but it's the right call for now.

Disclosure: Affiliate links included in this post.