After a couple of years of reading way less nonfiction than usual, I seem to be back on track and I couldn't be happier about it. I accepted that due dates are the best way to get me to read the nonfiction I want to read and so I've been back on the "library first" train. Every book on this list came up in multiple conversations with friends. I couldn't help but want to discuss the contents and convince my friends to read them too. They're that good.
I've included a link to my Goodreads reviews at the end of each synopsis for anyone who needs content notes/warnings.
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Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends by Marisa G. Franco
An instructive look at friendship through the lens of attachment theory. The author, a psychologist, makes a strong case for why we need to prioritize friendship more, as well as how these relationships take work just like any other—and they’re worth working on. It’s an engaging read, with a blend of research, anecdotes from her own life, and practical tips. As a single woman, I’m already a believer in the power of friendship and I’m always interested in deepening those relationships. This provides a good gut check about the kind of friends we are and potential areas of improvement.
This wasn’t necessarily new information but it was helpful to have it packaged together in one place. It has the potential to really revolutionize friendships for people who haven’t put the same time and energy in as their romantic or familial relationships. I particularly appreciated the chapter on managing conflict and the helpful scripts provided throughout. (Content notes.)
Disclosure: I received a free advanced copy from G.P. Putnam’s Sons in exchange for an honest review.
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain
Given the impact Quiet had on me, I shouldn’t be surprised by how much this resonated. There’s a Bittersweet Quiz so people can assess their temperament. It said “if you score above 5.7, you are a true connoisseur of the place where light and dark meet.” My score was 8.9. Cain makes a case for bittersweetness as both a strength and a source of wisdom and connection. It’s basically my entire personality as an Enneagram Four and I felt incredibly seen and understood. But there’s so much to appreciate, no matter what personality type you are. (Content notes.)
They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib
Not only the best music writing I’ve ever encountered but one of the best essay collections I’ve ever read, which also touches on pop culture and current events. I loved the wide range of musicians and the deeply moving connections he made. The essays related to misogyny, suicide/suicidal ideation, racism, and grief were particularly strong. Simply phenomenal. (Content notes.)
In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies by Dianna Anderson
A valuable, accessible resource exploring the history and evolution of non-binary identity. There’s some exceptional writing, especially in each chapter’s conclusion. Dianna Anderson is a long-time internet friend and I knew I could count on them to explain theory in a way that would be easy to understand. They did a great job teasing out the relationship between non-binary people and the LGBTQ+ community and how this has changed over the years. As a cishet woman, I really appreciated their callout in chapter 9 for cis people to recognize their own biases and bigotry. The questions are helpful reflection points and I plan on taking my time with them. (Content notes.)
Disclosure: I’m friendly with the author.
The Chiffon Trenches by André Leon Talley
ALT was a force to be reckoned with, an irrepressible personality and a font of fashion history. The first half was a dishy delight, going into the who’s who of the fashion world and displaying the fullness of his wit and knowledge of the industry. The second half was more somber and searching as he experienced loss and delved into the rifts with Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld. With each story, he was seeking acknowledgment and affirmation that his contributions mattered. That he mattered. He had a strong sense of duty that could lead to misplaced loyalty. My heart ached over the way he was treated by some of the most important figures in his life. And that’s not even getting into the racism and microaggressions he experienced as a Black gay man within the still largely white halls of the fashion industry. He made a difference where he could, perhaps not as much as some would hope but he still made an impact. There is a lot of name dropping and I ate it up. He moved through a lavish world that I can only imagine and I enjoyed living vicariously through him. I especially enjoyed learning the behind the scenes on various collections and the progression of his career. It’s notable who he mentions and who he does not. (Content notes.)
Sitting Pretty: The View From My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body by Rebekah Taussig
*This was published by HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins. The HarperCollins Union has been on strike since November 10, 2022. They deserve a fair contract, living wages, and an inclusive workplace. It’s disheartening that HarperCollins has yet to meet these reasonable requests. Learn how to support the union here.*
Rebekah Taussig issued an important invitation through this essay collection. Her essays are a blend of vulnerability, humor, and education. I felt as if I was in conversation with her and perhaps that because she’s a teacher by background. Her essays are nuanced and considered. They had my mind racing with possibilities. But also, her prose is gorgeous and a treat to read.
Taussig is purposeful in opening up about her life as a wheelchair user to show just how ableist our society is. No matter your knowledge or experience of disability, we need to think about the environment and people around you, as well as the ways you might perpetuate ableism. Accessibility benefits everyone. Taussig deftly shows this in example after example. Because here’s the thing: we will all likely experience disability at some point. As we age, our bodies and abilities change. It boggles my mind why this isn’t already a consideration for stores, restaurants, and venues. We have an opportunity to address ableism and discrimination and I hope we will take it. (Content notes.)
Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe
This was a well-researched and enraging read about the opioid epidemic. Investigative journalism at its finest—I’m in awe of how Patrick Radden Keefe structured this and how many connections he brought to light. The Sacklers had every opportunity to do the right thing and chose not to. Not only did they deny wrong-doing, they used their wealth and power to evade accountability. To this day, they have not apologized. I’m glad the truth is out there and can only hope they will be held accountable someday. Eat the rich. (Content notes.)
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by KC Davis
Truly excellent. This made me cry good tears. Written with care and compassion, her concepts are easy to adapt to your specific needs. While I don’t struggle with the care tasks she spends the most time on (e.g. dishes, laundry), the first half of the book helped me reframe a task that had plagued me for months—and I was finally able to cross it off the list. For that alone, I’m grateful. Highly recommend for anyone dealing with mental health issues or trauma and anyone who is neurodivergent or generally overwhelmed. (Content notes.)
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
As good as everyone said. I never would have read this if not for all the rave reviews as I’m not familiar with the author or the shows she was on. This is more in the vein of narrative non-fiction and goes deeper and is more thoughtfully written than many other celebrity memoirs. McCurdy clearly did a lot of processing and healing before writing this. She deserved so much better than the cards she was dealt. Knowing she’s in a better place now is a relief. It’s incredibly intense so please consider the CWs, especially if you have a history of disordered eating. McCurdy is a gifted writer and I’m glad she had the opportunity to share her story. (Content notes.)
The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness by Meghan O'Rourke
The author shares an insightful, honest account of her chronic illnesses, from her family’s narratives around illness to the doctors who dismissed her symptoms. She was eventually diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, endometriosis, POTS, Lyme disease, and hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It was unfortunately a long road to getting those diagnoses. But the doctors weren’t failing her out of callousness necessarily so this book is also an exploration of the Western model of medicine and how that impacts those living with invisible illnesses.
She writes with a lot of compassion for herself as she was trying to find answers, as well as others seeking diagnosis. If you’re in a similar boat, I think you’ll be encouraged to keep going but please exercise caution as needed as she goes into a lot of details about the ups and downs that could prove to be difficult depending on where you’re at. For those of us on the other side, I don’t think her intention was to show readers how they can be better friends or partners to those with chronic illness but it’s there all the same. She examines a number of issues, including why doctors find it easier to dismiss symptoms than listen to patients and why the tests themselves can be inaccurate and what actual health looks like when living with a chronic illness. Luckily, there are also doctors who are trying to change how things are done and who are innovating within the field. With the rise of long COVID, the author is hopeful we’ll see a changing tide and patients across the board will receive better care for symptoms that aren’t straightforward. (Content notes.)
