Leigh Kramer

The Enneagram, Energy, and Sorta Awesome

Friends and fellow Enneagram enthusiasts, I'm thrilled to be back on Sorta Awesome for the THIRD time! 

I first appeared way back on Episode 12: Oh, the Enneagram? It's awesome! (a great introduction to the Enneagram) and then I came back for this Extra Awesome answering the Sorta Awesome community's questions.

I'm downright giddy because this time around I got to discuss something I've never talked about before, nor have I heard on other Enneagram podcasts. To be fair, I rarely listen to Enneagram podcasts but I usually hear about what they're discussing. 

In any case, Meg asked me to come on to discuss the Enneagram and the energy of each type. This is something I first heard about fairly early on in my studies but it's not something I've encountered much in my go-to resources. It's really just another way of recognizing each types' strengths and weaknesses. Meg, Kelly, and I had such a fascinating conversation and I hope our discussion will be helpful for you and your relationships.

You can listen in iTunes, your favorite podcast app, or here.

 

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If you're stopping by from Sorta Awesome, hello! I'm happy to have you here. You can learn more about me on my About page. You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. 

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, I now have an Enneagram page in the navigation bar that briefly describes my favorite personality type system and directs you to my best Enneagram posts. You can also read this more thorough overview. It's a good primer on how it all works, especially on centers, wings, and arrows. I also talk more about how to figure out your type. If you're a blogger, don't miss my Enneagram and Blogging series.

I also recently answered readers' questions about the Enneagram: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. 

These are my favorite books on the Enneagram.

Or you can just read all my Enneagram posts here. 

Happy exploring!

If you know your Enneagram type, you probably need this mug

Yesterday Hannah Paasch started tweeting designs for what she calls millenneagram mugs. Each mug has an Enneagram type and a saying reflective of their type, as you can see above. The response was so positive, she's actually making them!

Here are a few other favorites.

 

For instructions on how to order and to see all the designs, head here. (A few types have two choices.) Paasch is taking orders through December 10 and mugs (for the US) should arrive by December 22. Orders will close after that until Paasch updates her website in January and opens up for year-round ordering.

I'm on a very strict budget but I'll eat Ramen noodles for a week if I have to. That Four mug needs to be in my life.

Not sure about your Enneagram type or what the Enneagram even is? Read this overview post and I answer the typing question more extensively here.

This isn't an ad, simply sharing something I find delightful. I wasn't even following Hannah on Twitter until yesterday when this popped up in my feed but I do know she regularly tweets about the Enneagram.

Answering Your Enneagram Questions: Part 3

 

Photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash

 

A couple of weeks ago I asked people on Facebook and Twitter to submit their questions about the Enneagram.

Read part 1 and part 2.

If you're not familiar with the Enneagram, read my overview post. 

 

 

I actually have wondered about the overlap between MBTI and Enneagram. I don't they serve different functions, but the stuff Faith said [about being Type Five] I've always attributed to being an INFJ. 

How does MBTI type correlate to Enneagram type?

Myers-Briggs explains how you are. The Enneagram explains why you are. 

While I believe there are connections between the two systems, I haven't come across many viable resources on the topic, beyond basic correlations. 

But you might find the following articles interesting:

• Enneagram and MBTI Correlation from Typology Wiki (very information dense, which may be perfect for Fives.)
• Myers-Briggs/MBTI & Enneagram Correlations from Personality Junkie

The best chart comparison I've found is in Are You My Type, Am I Yours?, which not only compares the two systems but breaks it down further by males and females. (This makes me curious about what might happen if they went beyond the male-female binary.)

 

 

I'm always looking for info on using the enneagram in my working life; I've had a few really key revelations of why I work certain ways because I'm a 9 and I'm trying to expand that to my team. I manage a team of americorps members at a non-profit and this year had them all determine their enneagram type so I can better adjust my management style to each, but I'm not entirely sure where to start, especially for the ones whose types I'm least familiar with.

First, imagine me giving you a round of applause for incorporating the Enneagram at work. This is amazing and I wish all companies would do this. The Enneagram was big at my last job- it was even part of my interview to be hired- and we all regularly referenced our types in conversation. It made such a big difference in terms of handling conflict and communicating well. My coworkers weren't perfect but I don't think it's a coincidence that it was one of the best work environments I've ever experienced.

Second, the book I'd start with is Helen Palmer's The Enneagram In Love And Work. Palmer shows how each type interacts with other types in both relationships and at work. The analysis for each type pairing's dynamic at work and in relationships is different, which makes sense because we relate to each other differently if we're coworkers vs. dating/married. It's a great resource to have.

Next, Beatrice Chestnut released a book a couple of weeks ago that might be perfect for you: The 9 Types Of Leadership: Mastering The Art Of People In The 21st Century Workplace. I just happened to see it over the weekend so I haven't read it yet but her book The Complete Enneagram is one of my go-tos and I imagine this will become one as well.

 

 

Common misconceptions - about the whole thing, about certain types - your post about people totally misunderstanding it made me curious.

That Facebook post was a little tongue in cheek but...

The most common misconceptions probably have to do with wings and arrows. And I get it. Arrows in particular are hard to understand at first. But more than that, people can really, really misunderstand their type. Or they'll say they're two types. Either they haven't typed themselves correctly or they just plain don't understand what being a Two or Seven, etc. is really all about. 

No one is going to be an expert on their type from the start- I certainly wasn't!- but for some reason, many people new to the Enneagram present their type as if they are experts. More often than not, the information they present is wrong. I always tell people they've got to live it out for a while. See if they can catch themselves being their type during their day to day life.  

If I can offer a word of caution to people who want to type everyone around them: you are the only one who can determine your type. You might have guesses about someone's type but for the love of all that is holy stop telling people you know what type they are. You don't. If someone asks you for your best guess on their type, give them a couple of options. Otherwise, let them discover it on their own.

 

 

Any good Enneagram blogs, sites, Twitter accts, etc that you like.

The Enneagram Institute website is at the top of my list. So much good, time-tested information over there.

Favorite Books On The Enneagram (Books are my first resource forever and always.)

I haven't listened to Enneagram podcasts beyond an episode or two but people seem to like The Road Back To You, Typology, and The Liturgists Episode 37: The Enneagram. People have recommended Wild Crazy Meaningful Enneagram to me and while it was not my cup of tea, perhaps it will be yours.

I've appeared on a few podcasts to introduce the Enneagram. Listen to The Art Of Simple Episode 6: Enneagram 101 (originally titled Confront Your Junk), Sorta Awesome Episode 12: Oh, the Enneagram? It's Awesome! and Extra Awesome: Leigh Kramer Answers Your Enneagram Questions, The Lively Show #106: How The Enneagram Can Help You Grow And Improve Relationships (timely for the holidays!), and The Practical Minimalists Episode 28: The Freedom Of Knowing Yourself With The Enneagram. 

Suzanne Stabile shared her visual representation of each type on her Facebook page. They're not grouped by an album so scroll through the photos until you find your type. Example above.

I also like The Visual Enneagram, which you can purchase on Amazon and which EnneaApp uses for their test results.

30 Seconds Or Less gave us Enneavember a couple of years ago and the quick insights on each type were wonderful. (I'm on there for Type Four.)

Beyond this, take a gander at any of the feeds of Enneagram experts you enjoy. Many share insights about each type regularly. Enneagram in the Narrative Tradition usually has some great graphics and insights.

Answering Your Enneagram Questions: Part 2

 

Photo by Chris Knight on Unsplash

 

A couple of weeks ago I asked people on Facebook and Twitter to submit their questions about the Enneagram.

Part 1 ran yesterday.

If you're not familiar with the Enneagram, read my overview post. 

 

 

I often hear people say “I’m a # and super stressed so now I’m a disintegration #.” What do the types look like as themselves and not just “now I’m that.” (Clarified: people are viewing themselves as the number they disintegrate toward i.e. 1 disintegrates to 4 so they say they're a disintegrating 4 vs. being an unhealthy (their type.))

 

I wish I understood more about my stress "point" or "line" (Not sure what's proper terminology. We didn't cover that much when I first got my assessment. So I'm curious as to how to relates to my type and wing. 

Once you know how your type functions, which includes unhealthy tendencies, you can explore the arrows of integration and disintegration and see how they manifest themselves.

Besides wings, each type is connected to two other types via arrows. When healthy and balanced, you move toward your Arrow of Integration and take on the positive or healthy quality of that type. It goes in this order: 1-7-5-8-2-4-1 and 3-6-9-3. There's an element of choice involved in the arrow of integration. As we become healthier individuals, we often seek to become healthier still and out of this work, we'll notice the positive qualities of our arrow emerging. The more we lean into these positive qualities, the more we grow. (Taking on the positive qualities of our wings is another way we become more balanced and healthy.)

The reverse direction is your Arrow of Disintegration and shows how you respond when you’re stressed or unbalanced This is what happens when your usual way of dealing with stress doesn’t work anymore and it's a stopgap measure- a sounding of the alarm- before you descend to the truly unhealthy levels of your type. You take on the negative or unhealthy quality of that type. 1-4-2-8-5-7-1 and 3-9-6-3. This all tends to happen on a subconscious level. When you're stressed, do what you can to avoid falling into these negative traits.

I want to point out the bolded words in the previous two paragraphs. You take on the quality of the type your arrows moves toward. But you do not become that type. While the behavior might look similar on the surface, it's still coming out of your type's motivations. Think about it this way: each type has big issues so becoming like another type won't do you any favors. Taking on a type's qualities doesn't change us at our core. We're still who we are but we can learn from the other types. We really do need all nine types and the arrows- both positive and negative- show us why. 

Example: When Ones take on the positive qualities of Seven (arrow of integration), they become less critical and more accepting of themselves and others, they're naturally more optimistic, enthusiastic, and joyful, they'll be more spontaneous, and they'll do fun things for the sake of enjoyment. They can relax their guard and they're more able to learn from and relate to other people's perspectives.

When Ones take on the negative qualities of Four (arrow of disintegration), they feel like no one understands them or how hard they're working, their anger turns inward and they become moody and withdrawn, they feel unloved and unlovable, and they long for what they don't have and feel hopeless about ever obtaining it.

 

 

I’ve heard that type 6 has sub-types—would love to hear about that concept. 

I clarified this question is about the Six's phobic-counterphobic tendencies. All types have subtypes but the phobic-counterphobic distinction is unique to the Six.

Sixes have both phobic and counterphobic facets. You may see some Sixes more on one side of the spectrum than the other but in most cases the tendencies coexist. More phobic Sixes tend to be outwardly fearful and seek approval, whereas more counterphobic Sixes tend to confront their fears and be more reactionary.

For this reason, Sixes can be a mess of contradictions. They can be both bully and bullied, believer and doubter, leader and follower. 

Sixes tend to lean on whatever or whomever is influencing them in the moment. They don't trust their inner guidance so they lean on their Inner Council instead, looking for assurance and whatever will guarantee their sense of security. They'll look outside of themselves first for something to believe, then resist if it doesn't hold up, then look for some other solution. It's a push-pull. More insecure Sixes tend to simply accept others' ideas but they can also subject them to a good deal of testing and scrutiny. 

 

 

I think we need more resources about how the Enneagram interacts with mental illness. So many people have depression and anxiety and more... how do such common struggles interact with or throw a curveball into how we work with the Enneagram? 

I would love to see more resources on this topic! I haven't come across much exploration but I do know mental illness can throw a curveball into figuring out your type, particularly if it's been untreated or is not yet in maintenance mode. 

For the sake of simplifying this, let's consider people with untreated mental illness. They'll likely be operating out of the unhealthy levels of their type and in many cases may be so fully entrenched in their patterns, they're uninterested in learning how to get out of them, much less figuring out their Enneagram type.

If someone with mental illness does want to figure out their type, this is when those pesky arrows of disintegration might throw us off.

Riso and Hudson write, "When our personality is under stress for a long period of time, we may begin to shunt [to the Direction of Disintegration] so habitually that we may appear to be the type in the Direction of Disintegration. For this reason, people who have been suffering from emotional difficulties or major crises in their ives will often misidentify themselves as the type in their Direction of Disintegration rather than their basic type...We also have observed that people who have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or who have significant borderline features in their personality, tend to move in their Direction of Disintegration more often and more easily. Their personalities have more volatility and are less strongly grounded in the basic type, and they therefore intensely shunt to the Direction of Disintegration" (p. 90, The Wisdom Of The Enneagram.)

How do symptoms of mental illness intersect with a type's behaviors? Riso and Hudson have made some correlations, which you can see in the levels of development for each type, showing the healthy, average, and unhealthy behaviors.

It might be most helpful for the person to figure out their Enneagram type with the help of their counselor or psychiatrist. 

Answering Your Enneagram Questions: Part 1

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

 

A couple of weeks ago I asked people on Facebook and Twitter to submit their questions about the Enneagram. It's been a while since I've written about my favorite personality system and I was curious about what people wanted to know. The questions were amazing and I've had such a great time answering them. 

I decided to break this into three posts so you won't get too bogged down with information. Part 2 will be up tomorrow and part 3 the day after that.

If you're not familiar with the Enneagram, read my overview post. 

 

I have questions on trying to figure out my type. Best way to find type (quiz, app, reading, etc)? 

The best way to figure out your type is to read the type profiles and consider which one you are. I linked to the Enneagram Institute as a free resource and Beatrice Chestnut also gives great brief descriptions, but if you want to read a book instead, The Road Back To You is very accessible and engaging (FYI, it is written from a Christian perspective but faith is not overly front and center so I think non-Christians would still find benefit to reading it.) The Enneagram Made Easy is a basic, easy to understand guide as well. Most books include some sort of assessment tool.

Think about what is most true of you, most of the time. A few of the types might stand out from the others and you'll want to hone in from there. Pay attention to the core struggles and desires. You might go back and forth but eventually one type will stick out from the others. Don't be surprised if this realization isn't a happy one. Figuring out your type tends to make you wince. I was horrified when I realized I was a Four. But persevere and remember each type has amazing strengths as well. (Note: Sixes and Nines have the hardest time figuring out their type.) 

I don't recommend any free tests because they are rarely accurate. However, a couple of people have used Ian Cron's new Road Back To You assessment with good results and this could prove to be the exception to my rule. The Enneagram Institute has the RHETI for $12 and this tends to be good at identifying the top three possibilities. I've also heard good things about EnneaApp, which is a free app.

You could hire an Enneagram coach. Three coaches I'm aware of: Beth McCord (full disclosure: she bought my coaching business but I am not in any way affiliated with it now), Stephanie Spencer, and Kate Ostrem. Google and see if anyone is in your area. Otherwise, many offer sessions online. 

Lastly, there are Enneagram flashcards. There are quite a few different sorts you can do, with either yourself or someone else. Many counselors and spiritual directors use them in their practice so you may consider asking yours (or asking around if you don't already have these therapeutic relationships) to see if this is a possibility. Unless you plan on using them to help your friends and family figure out their type, it might not be worth buying your own set. But hey, you do you.

 

 

I cannot figure out my number! I get it narrowed down, and then I listen to a narrative about another number, and doubt myself. Any hints? 

As I mentioned above, Sixes and Nines have the hardest time figuring out their type. In the most stereotyped terms, Sixes because they want someone to tell them their type and Nines because they relate to all of the types. If you can relate to that, perhaps start with profiles for those types.

Beyond that, it's not uncommon to have a tough time figuring out your type. 

It takes a lot of self-awareness and time to consider what's really true of you. It's hard to recognize what's at the root of our problems and motivations. How do we know what drives our behavior? The Enneagram gives us a language for our behaviors and motivations but it's not always clear cut when you're first learning about the nine types.

See how your top three guesses play out as you're discerning your type. Think about what's most true of you most of the time. Maybe you see a particular positive or negative quality sometimes but on a day to day basis, look at what is really happening and whether you notice a type's core struggles and desires. Consider whether there's a common thread between your worries, fears, and frustrations, as this can help you figure out whether you relate to a type's core struggle.

One type will likely rise to the top and if they don't, then you'll want to go back to the drawing board and repeat this process.

 

 

Here's what 10 year ago me wanted to know: Okay, Enneagram, you've shown me who I *am* in all my unhealth, & who I have the potential to be...How do I get from here to there? What are my next steps from despairing, dramatic, alone to creative, universal, redemptive? I figured it out on my own, painstakingly. But I felt like the Enneagram books were lacking in practical advice, perhaps especially for Fours.

First, you have to really know your type. I like to tell people they have to "catch" themselves being their type. In your day to day, notice when you're being your type. For the Four, this could involve noticing the ebb and flow of your feelings, when you're comparing yourself to someone else, when you're thinking about how different or unique you are, when you're nursing hurt feelings (especially old wounds), or when you're lost in your daydreams.

I'd suggest reading several different profiles of your type and see what stands out. ("So that's why I do that!") Then in your day to day, notice it. When you feel like you have a good grasp on your type, then start reading about the arrows of integration and disintegration and see if you can catch yourself moving towards health or unhealth. Observation can be extremely instructive on how and what we need to work on.

I'm not sure what books you read but I've found The Wisdom Of The Enneagram and The Complete Enneagram to be very helpful in terms of the practices they suggest for each type. Both books lay out practical advice, as well as how each type can build on their strengths. Even The Enneagram Made Easy has a list of helpful suggestions.

Beyond that, the most helpful tool for me has been the Healing Attitudes, as laid out in chapter 16 of The Wisdom Of The Enneagram. There are three sentences for each type and they all start with the word "maybe." This opens us up to the idea that maybe this idea is more true about us than what we currently believe. 

When you first read your type's healing attitudes, they might feel impossible or untrue.For instance, our self-martyring Twos are going to have a hard time believing, "Maybe I could let someone else do this."

When I'm stressed or insecure, I go back to my healing attitudes and while there's still one that feels impossible, the other two have made a world of difference. And that gives me hope that one day that third healing attitude will become believable too.

 

 

This might sound really dumb but how do I truly move into health? I'm 100% a 9 and really struggle with motivation and ignoring the hard thing. Will creating a cleaning schedule and making a productivity plan (like GTD) truly help or is that just a band aid?

I love this kind of question! Creating schedules and making plans can be helpful but only to a point. It's probably more helpful to consider the "why" behind your resistance. Where is the lack of motivation coming from? Why do you want to ignore the hard thing? 

A sign of a healthy Nine is when they exert themselves into taking action. One of the Healing Attitudes is "Maybe I need to get energized and be involved." But getting there can take some time and you also don't want to overcorrect and exert so much that you exhaust yourself. Which is why figuring out your feelings is so important, maybe especially important for Nines who tend to tamp down their feelings and go along with what everyone else wants. 

That said, there are a few things you might try. The night before or in the morning, make a short list of what you want to accomplish that day. Give yourself definite deadlines- you can add more goals to your list once you've finished. Reward yourself when you've completed a task- time for a gold star! Trick yourself into doing chores by listening to podcasts or your favorite music while you work.