Addie and Leigh Watch A Hallmark Movie

  Angel of Christmas

 All photos in this post are via The Hallmark Channel

I love Hallmark Channel movies, especially at Christmas. I haven't lived in a place with cable since I moved to San Francisco, which means I haven't had access to these cheesy yet delightful movies. Until a couple of weeks ago. I housesat for a coworker and was elated to discover they had The Hallmark Channel. I did what anyone else would do: I texted the good news to my friend Addie Zierman and we promptly made plans to text watch a couple together.

Since we've never lived in the same state, every so often Addie and I pretend we're watching Hallmark movies together by texting and watching at the same time. It is ridiculously fun and we crack each other up. We also talk about the kind of Hallmark movie we would write. We are convinced our screenplay would be AMAZING.

Today I'm sharing the conversation we had while watching Angel of Christmas. I've lightly edited it for clarity and removed some of our more personal conversation, which happens during commercial breaks. (Sorry not sorry.) It's airing tonight and a few other times before Christmas if you want to read and watch along. Either way, I hope you'll enjoy our insights.

 

Angel of Christmas- The Hallmark Channel

The official description: A holiday Grinch ever since her boyfriend dumped her on Christmas, newspaper staffer Susan gets her first big break to write her own headline story -- but ironically, the story is a Christmas-themed account of her own family's carved wooden Christmas Angel -- an angel that supposedly has magical properties to bring true lovers together. Stars Jennifer Finnigan and Jonathan Scarfe and Holly Robinson Peete.

 

Addie: Here. We. Go. 2015-12-01 19.57.51

Leigh: Emojis (see screenshot -->)

 

[The movie opens with a shot of a theater, followed by a man and woman sitting together. It occurs sometime in the past. He tries to give her a hand-carved angel...]

Addie: Why is she giving him back his angel?!

Leigh: I am so confused.

Addie: Is this the same woman...in the present?

Leigh: Is she a cold-hearted snake?

Addie: Probably. All career women are in Hallmark movies. (I'm beginning to really hate that theme by the way.)

Leigh: True. Me too!!! Our heroine [in the movie we write] won't be like that.

Addie: Totally.

 

[Flash forward to the present, where Susan is at a coffee shop trying to order coffee. But she doesn't want any of this holiday-inspired drink nonsense.]

Leigh: "Christmas blend made by elves." I wish, Grinchy lady!

 

[Enter witty banter from a stranger in line behind her. Henceforth known as Brady.]

Leigh: Hello Mr. Artist!!!

Addie: I love the paint streak on his face.

Leigh: Me too! Dreamy.

Leigh: I want to help him clean up.

Addie: Ha! LOL. 

 

[Susan leaves the coffee shop and is walking with her friend, who is apparently concerned by Susan's holiday hatred.]

Leigh: "Holiday-free coffee." "I-hate-Christmas blues." Can't they have someone be ambivalent or mildly happy about Christmas? It's always extremes.

Addie: For real.

 

[Susan works for a newspaper.]

  Download (4)

Addie: What is she in? Not the main character, the boss lady.

Leigh: Hmmm. Was she the evil boss in a Christmas movie last year? It was at a department store or something. Or not boss. Consultant?

Addie: Oh, it's Holly Robinson Peete. I know her from The Apprentice. But before that, Hangin' With Mr. Cooper.

Leigh: That's HRP?! I didn't recognize her at all. I loved Hangin' With Mr. Cooper!

Leigh: The best friend reminds me of the weird neighbor girl on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Addie: Ha! I'm so loving that show btw.

Leigh: Isn't it so fun???

Addie: The funnest. 

 

[It turns out the angel we saw at the start of the movie is Susan's family heirloom. She's going to write a story about it's origin.]

Angel

Addie: That angel is super creepy.

Leigh: That angel is legit creepy.

Leigh: Jinx!

Addie: Totally. 

Addie: "A teaspoon of mystery!!"

Leigh: Only a teaspoon though.

Leigh: I would not keep that thing. It probably moves around the house. Like you go to bed and it's in the living room and when you wake up, it's staring at you.

Addie: With a knife in its hands.

Leigh: LOL. Naturally!

Leigh: But no one else believes that it's possessed so they lock you up in a psych ward and you think you're at least safe...but the angel appears there.

Addie: HAHAHA

 

[We meet Derek, who also works at the newspaper. He is interested in being more than Susan's coworker.]

Addie: Other Guy is pretty dreamy too. I'd go to Solano's with him.

Leigh: Should we predict who wins her heart?

Addie: Hmmm. I wonder. (No I don't.)

Leigh: I think I need to see more interaction before I guess.

 

[Susan and her best friend go to an art gallery, where they run into Brady who is exhibiting his paintings.]

Addie: THERE HE IS! Still with the paint. Doesn't he ever wash himself?

Leigh: Hahaha. He must not own a mirror.

Addie: When you're that dreamy, you don't have to.

Leigh: He wears his paint shirt to his gallery opening. Laid back or slob?

Addie: Maybe he works in the building and just popped down for a minute.

 

[Brady asks Susan out. Even though she's been both rude and condescending to him.]

Addie: SAY YES

Leigh: She gets asked out after giving him no encouragement. What witch magic does she have and how do I get some???

Addie: Men with the CHALLENGES. Obnoxious.

Leigh: So obnoxious.

Addie: He kind of looks like Michael Vaughn from Alias. 

Leigh: He does! Whatever happened to Vaughn?

Addie: That's a good question. Consulting IMDB...

Leigh: So many creepy angels.

Addie: Apparently he's been in some shows...nothing popular.

 

[Susan goes to a Christmas tree lighting...where she runs into Brady.]

Leigh: Brady again! What are the odds.

Addie: Ooh. He's now filming "The Arrangement"-- a TV Movie. Perhaps we'll see him on Hallmark soon!

Leigh: I would love to see him on Hallmark!

Leigh: He believes in angels, she doesn't. "Angels see all, know all." BRADY, YOU'RE SCARING ME.

Addie: Agreed.

Leigh: "Enjoy the ride. The destination will unfold." That's deep.

Addie: He looks like he should be a contestant on the Bachelorette.

Leigh: He could totally be a contestant!

Leigh: What are they drinking? It makes me want Irish coffee or a hot toddy.

Addie: It's snowing and she has no hat or leggings. What is with all this impractical cold weather wardrobing?

Leigh: She's dumb.

Leigh: "I don't have room in my life right now." She is full of BS! She doesn't deserve him.

Addie: Oh hi Candace. [Commercial.]

Addie: That is some serious bling on Candace Cameron.

Leigh: LOL about the ornament hawking.

Addie: I know, right.

Leigh: I want to know what she really thinks about these movies.

Addie: She loves them. You know she loves them.

 

[Susan goes to see her grandpa and get the dirt on their family history.]

Leigh: Thank God for hoarding grandpas. Actually I take that back. Some grandpas hoard weird crap.

 

Download

[Flashback scene.]

Leigh: Christmas 1925. Here we go!

Leigh: Actresses are fickle. Plus I thought actors couldn't see past the stage lights. This must be in his head.

Addie: Lavender eyes? Who has lavender eyes?

Leigh: She does. That's how you know she's an angel. Or worthy of having an angel carved in her likeness.

Addie: I feel cheated. No man has ever carved an angel in MY likeness.

Leigh: Would you say yes or file a restraining order?

Addie: Mmmm. Good question.

Leigh: If that angel was your likeness, you would still feel cheated. She probably didn't accept it because of how creepy it is!

Addie: True. He's a crappy carver.

 

[Susan is back at work. Derek comes over to talk to her.]

Leigh: "The busiest bee in the hive." What a douche. I am not on this guy's team.

Addie: His dream is to buy a condo? Gross.

Leigh: Haha

Addie: Creepy angel does NOT like him.

Leigh: The angels sees all, knows all. Just like Brady said.

 

[Susan and Brady start texting. He asks her out again.]

Leigh: "Life is fine as is." What a weird way to say no to a date.

Addie: He is not reciprocating to her "witty" banter and she's PISSED.

Leigh: She doesn't deserve Brady. I am now irritated with him for not seeing that.

Addie: Like I said. Men with their CHALLENGES.

Leigh: When I'm not interested in guys, they get the hint and go away. Like they should. I have good instincts about guys. If Brady came along, I would straight to YES. Which means he'd lose interest? Guys are confusing.

Addie: Who knows. I've been out of the game too long to give reliable advice.

 

[The angel knocks Derek's coffee onto him. Literally.]

Addie: Did the angel just fling herself at him?

Leigh: CREEPY ANGEL STRIKES AGAIN.

Leigh: It is totally possessed. But at least it's for a good cause.

Addie: Why does she feel the need to carry it around everywhere?

Leigh: Coffee on his Hugo Boss tie.

Leigh: It makes her creepy. It also gave him an excuse to say he was touched by an angel.

Addie: Some writer has been waiting to use that line for FIFTEEN YEARS.

Leigh: Totally!

 

[Susan talks to her mom, who tells her she just wants to see her happy and in love.]

Leigh: What if her daughter is happy about being single? No one ever thinks about that.

Addie: Truth.

Leigh: I know Hallmark won't let her stay single but she could totally learn the meaning of Christmas without falling in love.

Leigh: Although. For the record. In case the Universe is listening.

Leigh: I would like to learn the meaning of Christmas this year and it better involve a boyfriend!

Addie: I miss the old Hallmark movies where it wasn't about falling in love. It was about some family trying to get through the holidays and the TOWN rallying around them.

Leigh: Those are actually my least favorite. If I'm going to watch a cheesy movie, I want there to be romance and happily ever after.

Addie: Fair enough. I go through stages of wanting either/or.

Addie: I was just thinking about that one from a couple of tears ago when the little girl had cancer, and the town rallied to make it Christmas in November because she wouldn't make it to "real" Christmas. SOB.

Leigh: I don't think I saw that one. I would bawl!

Addie: Oh my word. Sobfest.

Addie: It's November Christmas in case you were wondering and it has John Corbett FTW!

Leigh: John Corbett! Nice.

Addie: John Corbett as grieving father. SOBFEST OF SOBFESTS!

 

[Susan goes back to see her grandfather.]

Leigh: I bet Grandpa found the letters!

Leigh: Oh no. Blueprint of the angel. Boring.

 

[Flashback.]

Addie: She's a Broadway actress. She doesn't want to move to some small town.

Leigh: He's building a cabin for an actress he just met.

Addie: STALKER.

Leigh: A year apart. Always a good plan.

Leigh: He's all, I know what's best for you and it's leaving your life and career behind.

Addie: She basically just said," Nah," and he was like, "Meh. Imma do it anyway."

Addie: The worst.

Leigh: Haha. Totally.

Leigh: The church secretary!

Leigh: There's no way I would keep an angel my husband carved for someone else.

Addie: Another one year plan.

Leigh: Why does everyone want to wait a year?! 

Addie: Waiting is for chumps. Just do it.

Leigh: Exactly.

Leigh: His relative used to act! I bet it will be the actress. FATE.

Addie: They were almost related. I don't know if that's sweet or FREAKY.

Addie: Like icky freaky. Like near-incest freaky.

Leigh: Kind of freaky but also like their families were meant to unite at some point, thus making it sweet.

Addie: Meh. I'm not sold.

Addie: AH! Country House = cabin grandpa built

 

[Susan's editor wants the final story on Christmas Eve.]

Leigh: Who has an article due Christmas Eve and why is everyone always making non-family plans then?

Addie: I want to live in a world where no one has to hang out with their extended families on Christmas Eve and instead hang out at town events with a potential love interest.

Leigh: That does sound like a good world.

Leigh: That conversation with Derek couldn't be any more awkward.

Addie: Derek is the awkwardest.

 

[Susan and Brady go on a date.]

Addie: She totally should have kissed him in the magic snow.

Leigh: Missed opportunity for sure!

Addie: Magic snow should always equal kissing.

Leigh: I'm looking up these actors on IMDB. She speaks French fluently. And she was on 10 episodes of Crossing Jordan. I loved that show.

Addie: I never watched it! I just added it to my Netflix list. ;)

Leigh: Let me know what you think!

Leigh: Did you ever watch 7th Heaven? An actress from that was in the Lifetime Christmas movie I watched last night.

Addie: I totally watched 7th Heaven.

Addie: Lucy? Ruthie?

Leigh: Lucy.

Addie: I was just wondering what ever happened to her!

Leigh: Right?! She hasn't been in anything for a while. Jessica Biel was smart to leave early.

Addie: OMG Just IMDB'ed her. FORGOT she became a revered in that show. She was on the Secret Life of the American Teenager? Whoa.

Leigh: It was Gift Wrapped Christmas, about a personal shopper.

Addie: Huh. Well, there you go.

Leigh: The actor playing Derek is named Tahmoh. Canadian. Huh.

Addie: Wowzer.

Addie: Skin lit by birthday candles? Gross.

Leigh: So gross.

 

Download (3)

[Brady tells Susan he has the chance to open his own art gallery. But he's not sure he should take it.]

Leigh: Brady is coming to CA! LA though. I thought maybe he was coming to me.

Addie: It's only a couple hours, right?

Leigh: Like 7 hours.

Leigh: He wants to turn it down for her! She is a fool.

Addie: Total fool. She's the worst. MAKE OUT WITH HIM. YOU ARE WASTING ALL THE TIME.

Leigh: We have to live for today! And by live, I mean MAKE OUT.

Addie: Agreed.

 

[Brady and Susan hang out with family.]

Leigh: The family that ciders together, stays together.

Addie: HA!

Leigh: That was a cozy scene.

 

[Brady and Susan fight about whether or not he should move away. Susan thinks he should go. He wants to stay and give their relationship a chance. But she wants a more definitive plan.]

Leigh: Why are they making a decision together about whether he moves to CA when they're barely dating?!

Addie: Love at first sight, babe. On his part at least. She's still figuring it out.

Leigh: Oh. So she's supposed to learn to be more spontaneous because of her great-grandpa?

Addie: Run after him you fool.

Leigh: This is happening because she's not carrying the angel.

Addie: Ha!

 

[Everyone is at the work Christmas party.]

Addie: "More wine? Yes please!" She is my soul sister.

Leigh: Go away, Derek!

Addie: Gross.

Download (1)

Leigh: Ew. Why is she flattered by his interest?

Addie: He's oily. It's not really that hard to get a condo.

Leigh: Always talking about his damn condo.

Addie: Stop acting like you did something other than have money.

Addie: Her angel IS there.

Leigh: Creepy.

 

[Susan's editor tells her there's a backup article in case she doesn't turn her angel story in on time.]

Leigh: There's a backup piece! The pressure is on.

Addie: Backup piece? The newspaper world is worse than the author world.

Leigh: The angel leads everyone to love. Which makes its origin story weird since it looks like a woman who spurned him.

Addie: Oh I love when things come full circle.

Leigh: He gave her a painting! Is it of her?

Addie: It's prolly of her.

 

[It's a painting of her...with angel wings.]

Leigh: Hahahahahaha

Addie: oh CREEPY

Leigh: So creepy!

Addie: Ugh. Eek!

Leigh: Why couldn't it just be her. Angel wings are a bad idea.

Addie: hahahaha

Leigh: Gah.

Addie: Plus she is so clearly not an angel.

Leigh: Exactly! Susan is not angelic in the least.

Addie: Nope.

 

[Susan drives out to where Brady is staying.]

Addie: That is one quaint doorbell.

Leigh: That's a nice cabin.

Leigh: Arm full of firewood! Just the way I like him.

Addie: Ha!

Leigh: What would you do if someone dropped off a painting of you as an angel?

Addie: Not go to his creeper cabin in the woods, that's for sure.

Leigh: I would no longer be interested in Brady. He killed the romance with that painting.

Addie: Agreed.

Leigh: No ending for the article and no plan for her relationship. My how she's grown!

Addie: Hahaha

Download (5)

Leigh: His great-grandma's desk!

Leigh: It will hold the answers she seeks.

Addie: Is she going to find some clue to the past? The perfect ending to her story???

Leigh: Those letters just fell out. Like no one has ever opened that drawer before. CALLED IT.

Addie: hahahahaha

Leigh: Fate brought them together because great-grandma was creeped out by her great-grandpa.

Leigh: "We were supposed to find these letters." Of course you were, Susan!

Addie: AWWWWWWW.

Leigh: "A sign from the angel that an even great love awaits." Frank was a romantic. Or in denial.

Addie: How did she up there? What about the OTHER WIFE.

Leigh: So many questions.

Leigh: Our great-grandparents didn't get together so we could.

Addie: GROSSSSSSS.

Leigh: Hahaha

Leigh: Susan needs to accept she loves him. She's annoying me.

Addie: Truly.

Leigh: Who types "The End" on their article??

Addie: Hahahaha

 

[Brady and Susan snuggle outside next to a large decorated Christmas tree. With the angel as the topper.]

Download (2)

Addie: I'm not a fan of this outside decorating tradition.

Leigh: Where's the ladder? That's a tall tree.

Addie: Did you see that we got THE WORLD'S MOST ENORMOUS TREE on accident this year?

Leigh: I did! It looks amazing.

Addie: It's soooooo big.

Leigh: She made the front page!

Addie: Of course she did.

Leigh: And so did the creepy angel. If I saw that picture, I'd skip the article.

Addie: Hahaha

Leigh: This was fun as always!

Addie: Agreed. So glad it worked, friend.


If Your Life Was a Hallmark Movie...

Bridal WavePhoto source

If your life was a Hallmark movie, the man of your dreams would have happened to go down your street while you were de-icing your car. He'd gallantly pluck the ice scraper from your hands and send you back inside to read and drink tea while he freed your car from its icy tomb. It wouldn't be enough to de-ice your car. He'd retrieve the snow shovel from the trunk of his car (he's always prepared) and start clearing your driveway. As he chipped away at the ice, he would also be chipping away at the ice around your heart.

If your life was a Hallmark movie, Mr. Right would be your precise kind of tall, dark, and handsome. He'd probably be white. His name would be Coop, Gridley, or Luke. He would be unconventional in some way, like wearing flip flops at the office or selling driftwood creations.

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you would find Mr. Right to be insufferable at first. Shakespeare himself would be inspired by your banter. No matter how you treat Mr. Right, he will remain loyal and persistent, ready to help you in your time of need.

Surprisedbylove-0426Photo source

If your life was a Hallmark movie, your life's calling would be clear. You would enter the pie baking contest, run a twee bookstore, or join the family business. You would rehab a house without prior experience. Opportunities land in your lap and you seize the day. You would be dedicated to your work because you believe in helping people or because you're a workaholic who needs to learn a lesson about the real meaning of life.

If your life was a Hallmark movie, every risk you take would pay off in spades. Therefore, your life is glorious. You are (Queen) Midas with gold everywhere. (I hate you.)

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you were probably dating or engaged to the Worst Guy Ever. Everyone knows this guy is a douchecanoe but you would be oblivious. Until you met the Best Guy Ever, who was bummed you were already dating/engaged to someone but he liked hanging out with you anyway. He believed you would see the light and wasn't bothered by your obvious lack of discernment. And then you did see the light and you broke up with Worst Guy Ever, even if it was at the altar on your wedding day. It's a good thing Best Guy Ever was already waiting in the wings.

Recipeforlove-0469Photo source
 

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you would have the perfect wardrobe. You would wear dresses and heels to work or in the garden. Your hair would always look like you just left the salon. Most important, you would still look beautiful when you cry. Somehow your tears make you radiant in your distress. It is possible tiny flowers and rainbows bloom wherever your tears land.

But if your life was a Hallmark movie, your sorrows would be temporary, just like your bad luck. No one would stay mad at you for long because just look at you. So adorable, even when you're awful.

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you would win the lottery the first time you bought a ticket. Anna Wintour herself would save you a seat next to her during New York Fashion Week. Your first novel would be an instant best seller.

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you'd have a secret. You would know you need to tell your special someone. You really should tell him. But you won't. You would let fear win. Because of that, the secret will come out at the worst possible time and you will believe you have lost everything. Your life is ruined. But take heart! Your life isn't ruined because true (Hallmark) love conquers betrayal and lies. Welcome to your second chance with Mr. Right.

Acrushonyou-0011u-0457Photo source

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you would save the town- nay, you would save humanity- with one swiftly deployed marketing campaign. 

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you would have a Sassy Best Friend and several peripheral acquaintances, whom you only see at celebratory occasions. Your SBF would tell you what you need to hear, even when you don't want to hear it, because sassy is what sassy does. Your SBF would always listen to you, even when you complain about the same old thing. You would mean to listen to SBF but her problems just pale in comparison to yours. It's a good thing she's so understanding.

If your life was a Hallmark movie, you would learn the true meaning of Christmas: falling in love with a hot guy.