Leigh Kramer

Without Reservations: The Travels of an Independent Woman by Alice Steinbach {review}

Genre: Travel Memoir

 

My Review - 4 Stars

I’m not sure how I found out about this book. Only that the moment I did, I ordered a copy and I started reading it as soon as it arrived. For as much traveling as I do, I’ve never taken a solo trip. I either travel with friends or I travel to go see friends. I’ve long been inspired by people who travel by themselves. However, I’ve never particularly desired to do so myself. Perhaps because I’m single and get as much alone time as I want—traveling, for me, is about companionship and community. And yet, with my 40th birthday around the corner, I’m wondering if a solo trip might be the right way to welcome the next year in. And so I read this book.

Steinbach took a four month sabbatical from work to travel to London, Oxford, Paris, and various parts of Italy when she was in her 50s. There’s a large amount of privilege associated with this trip and she unfortunately does not seem aware of it. I would not be able to take a break from work for that long, on top of paying for the trip itself, nor do I know many people who could. I don’t begrudge her the opportunity. It’s more like I’m impressed she could afford to do so on a reporter’s salary.

That aside, Steinbach has no small amount of anxiety at the start of the trip as the enormity of what she’s doing sinks in. But from there, she is open to where the trip takes her and strikes up conversation with strangers wherever she goes. At times, she explores on her own and other times, she goes off on an adventure with someone she’s just met. This even leads to meeting Naohiro, with whom she has a love affair off and on throughout her trip. I’m envious of people who do this so easily and I did see somewhere that she’s an extrovert.

While I wanted to read this memoir to help make sense of whether I should try solo travel, it is at its heart a memoir. It is Steinbach’s personal experience about what she learned about herself and her need for independence. I related to that latter part quite a bit. There are plenty of good takeaways, with relevance beyond travel, such as Steinbach’s new friend who asks her, “Why not turn this mishap into an adventure?” Wise words for us all. I also liked learning about the random history of places she explored, such as the Home of Rest for Ladies of Small Means in Surrey. It was a home for working women in need of a holiday. How amazing is that?

While Steinbach had mostly positive experiences on the trip, she does not shy away from sharing about the negative. She delves into her sense of safety as a single woman and how that is altered when she’s almost mugged in Italy. She gets horribly ill while in London but her new friends take care of her and there were some really tender moments as she has to accept their help.

The writing is lovely and I was quite engaged by her descriptions and experiences, with one exception. Steinbach’s father died when she was quite young and she describes aspects of her grief over losing him that I found confusing. Or at least they weren’t as well integrated into the narrative.

She does not always talk about people in the kindest way. And it bears noting she’s a straight woman who released this book in 2000 and there are some dated elements as a result.

CW: death of a parent, grief, divorce, attempted mugging

 

Synopsis

"In many ways, I was an independent woman," writes Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist Alice Steinbach. “For years I’d made my own choices, paid my own bills, shoveled my own snow.” But somehow she had become dependent in quite another way. “I had fallen into the habit of defining myself in terms of who I was to other people and what they expected of me.” But who was she away from the people and things that defined her? In this exquisite book, Steinbach searches for the answer to this question in some of the most beautiful and exciting places in the world: Paris, where she finds a soul mate; Oxford, where she takes a course on the English village; and Milan, where she befriends a young woman about to be married. 

Beautifully illustrated with postcards from Steinbach’s journeys, this revealing and witty book transports you into a fascinating inner and outer journey, an unforgettable voyage of discovery.

 

Buy The Book:

Amazon (affiliate link) | Barnes & Noble

Bookstore Spotlight: Schuler Books and Books & Mortar in Grand Rapids

A couple of weeks ago I went to Grand Rapids, MI to see friends who were there for a conference. I couldn't let them be in the Midwest without seeing them, especially when I'm a virtual assistant and can work anywhere.

I've been in Grand Rapids twice before for this same conference but haven't really experienced the town. This time around I got to visit not one but two bookstores.

I spent the most time at Schuler Books because they have a cafe. It was the perfect place to work before meeting up with friends. It's also an impressive bookstore, selling both new and used books. They have a wide selection and I could have browsed for hours.

I also love this feature for book clubs! I've never seen this at a bookstore before but it's such a great idea.

They had one of the biggest Blind Date With A Book displays I've ever seen! I was so tempted to buy a few but held strong.

I did snap up a used hardcover copy of The Word Exchange, which is one of my favorite booknerd books. Their used book section is fantastic. I'm not sure how they price the books but you should definitely take time to browse.

And then also be sure to spend time at the cafe. The cookies and scones are amazing but the lunch/dinner menu also sounded fantastic. The Cinnamon Cardamom tea is a great herbal option and I enjoyed British Breakfast tea in the morning. The tea is loose leaf and you get your own French press, which the cafe workers offered to refill with hot water when they noticed I was low. Now that's service! 

All the employees were super friendly and engaging. If I lived in Grand Rapids, I would be at Schuler's all the time!

I was invited to Zondervan's author party at Books & Mortar one night (even though I'm not one of their authors!) and I am convinced bookstores are the best party venue ever.

 

 

Books & Mortar is a smaller store but you can tell the selection is highly curated. They're definitely meeting the progressive niche and I'm glad Grand Rapids has that. It was such a cute store and I really enjoyed browsing in between catching up with friends. 

If you're in or near Grand Rapids, definitely visit these stores! You won't regret it. 

More Favorite Podcasts For A Road Trip

Photo by Bruno Bergher on Unsplash

 

Two summers ago I shared the Best Podcasts for a Road Trip. I was fresh off of moving across the country to San Francisco and that meant I'd listened to a ton of podcasts. 

This past fall, I undertook another 35+ hour drive to move to Minneapolis. Again, I listened to a lot of podcasts. I also gave audiobooks another try and this time I actually paid attention (romance novels for the win) so audiobooks are now a part of my road trip arsenal. Maybe podcasts were my gateway to actually making audiobooks a useful endeavor.

In any case, I still primarily listen to podcasts while I'm driving and there continue to be so many amazing ones, I thought it was worth giving more brand new recommendations.

Road trips are the perfect time to dive into the archives of your favorites and try out new podcasts. Enjoy!

(If there's a podcast you love and they have a Patreon account or use affiliate links, consider supporting them. Podcasters work so hard to give us amazing content, often with little to show for it. Think of it like a magazine or newsletter subscription.)

 

Best Podcasts For a Road Trip

Another Round

Heben and Tracy have a great dynamic and their segments range from informative to hilarious. Their enthusiasm for their guests and topics is contagious!

Recommended episodes: 

Padma Lakshmi

Valerie Jarrett

Hilary Clinton 

Ta-Nehisi Coates

Lin-Manuel Miranda- I loved how much they geeked out with one another!

Water Protectors and Fear Allerton interview with Dr. Adrienne Keene- fantastic resource concerning the Dakota Access Pipeline.

The Longform Podcast interviewed the hosts of Another Round and, as always, it made for fascinating listening. It was great getting to learn more about Heben and Tracy. 

 

 

The Baby-Sitters Club Club

Jack and Tanner are going book by book through Ann M. Martin's beloved series with hilarious results. Imagine you're in English class discussing the Gothic and Marxist influences present in the novel...and that novel is Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls. Every time they enter a new theory (Bees, Dolls), it somehow ends up making a lot of sense. One of my favorite segments is Tracking Jackie, which includes a clip of Jack from LOST yelling "we have to go back." This podcast brings me so much joy and I always laugh hard while listening.

Start with Episode 1: Kristy's Great Idea and work your way up.

 

 

Code Switch

Honestly, you should go back and listen to the entire archive of this podcast. Gene Demby, Shereen Marisol Miraji, Kat Chow, and company are always on point, always on fire. Code Switch examines themes on race, ethnicity, and culture and the ways they impact our lives and communities. It's a must-listen.

Recommended episodes:

Struggling School, Or Sanctuary?

Say My Name, Say My Name (Correctly, Please)

Nate Parker's Past, His Present, And The Future Of "The Birth Of A Nation"

The episodes on Obama’s Legacy: Diss-ent or Diss-respect?, Callouts and Fallouts, and Did He Remix Race?

Hold Up! Time For An Explanatory Comma is precisely why I listen to Code Switch. 

Code Switch's Safety Pin Solidarity 

Talking Black-ish with Star Yara Shahidi and Creator Kenya Barris

The Blessing (And Curse?) Of Miss Saigon

Master Of None's Alan Yang Unpacks Season 2

 

 

Deep Dives from The Popcast

Yes, I included this the last time but this is different. Did you know each month Knox and Jamie record a deep dive episode for their Patreon supporters? If you're not a Patreon supporter, did you know you can purchase these episodes separately? No matter the topic, Jamie and Knox do their homework. I laugh, I learn, I enjoy. You should, too.

Recommended episodes:

LOST

Saved By The Bell

Gilmore Girls

Pixar

 

 

How To Be Amazing With Michael Ian Black

It turns out actor Michael Ian Black is an impressive podcast host. Not only does he have a variety of guests, he asks such interesting questions. These are not your average interviews, that's for sure. I started listening to this a few months ago and have been working my way through the archives ever since.

Recommended episodes:

Tim Gunn  (possibly my favorite)

Andy Cohen

W. Kamau Bell 

Ira Glass

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Josh Groban

 

 

The Lively Show

Jess Lively gives me so much to think about. It's not unheard of for me to end up taking notes while listening or even listening twice. I don't always agree with her conclusions but often whatever she's talking about resonates with me. This might not be for everyone but if you like learning about how to be a healthier person, if you're not afraid of outside-the-box thinking, or if you're curious about values-based intentions, this is the podcast for you. 

Recommended episodes:

#87: How to Change Negative Thought Patterns and Understand the Ego with Brooke Castillo

#88: How to Access Your Intuition and Find the Answers You Seek with Lynn Robinson

Episode #106: How the Enneagram Can Help You Grow and Improve Relationships (my episode! Such a thrill to appear on the show.)

The Lively Show Episode #152: When You Want All Of The "Answers" Right Now

The Law of Attraction. (Hint: it's not The Secret!)

Episode #197: What I'm doing to manifest and prepare for my future partner

 

 

Off Camera With Sam Jones

Sam Jones has such an impressive guest list but the conversations are what set it apart. I could listen to him talk to his guests all day. I love the insights into Hollywood, music, or whatever the guest's profession might be.

Recommended episodes:

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Connie Britton

Elisabeth Moss

Rob Lowe. (Note to self: I still need to read his second memoir.)

Rachel Bloom

Joanne Froggatt

Glen Hansard

Sam Richardson 

  

 

Overdue

A podcast about the books you've been meaning to read. Craig and Andrew take turns reading a book, then discuss it together. They have great insights and are often funny. I love when they or their guest hosts take on silly or problematic books! If you plan on reading something, you might want to skip the episode until you do so because they don't shy away from spoilers. After all, you probably should have read that book by now. 

Recommended episodes:

A Prayer For Owen Meany (my favorite novel)

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

Flowers In The Attic (with guest hosts Dame Margaret and Dame Sophie)

From The Mixed-up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

A Walk To Remember

The Likeness 

Lord Of The Flies 

 

 

Reply All

It's hard to describe this show featuring hosts PJ Vogt and Alex Goldman. It's about all things internet and technology but it's about so much more than that. The stories they feature serve to both inform and inspire the listener. 

Recommended episodes:

#55: The Line

Stolen Valor

Making Friends

On The Inside (3 part story) 

Voyage Into Pizzagate

What Kind Of Idiot Gets Phished? 

 

 

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books

If you're not a romance reader, you might be tempted to think this podcast isn't for you but it's extremely relevant for readers and writers of all kinds. Yes, it's fun when one of my favorite authors appears on the show but I also learn a lot from other people in the publishing industry (ranging from personal assistants to the head of marketing) or when the hosts discuss a topic. I look forward to a new episode every Friday. If you like the podcast, be sure to check out the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books site!

Recommended episodes:

Closing The Door at the Intersection of Religion and Sex

Discussing Rape, Trigger Warnings, And Also What We're Reading 

Romance, Dating, and Very Real Expectations: An Interview with Alisha Rai

The First Year Of The Ripped Bodice: An Interview with Bea and Leah Koch (I want to go to there.)

New Books And New Insights Into History: An Interview with Beverly Jenkins

Discovering Romance and Navigating Approval: An Interview with Faith Salie 

An Interview with Robin Bradford, Genre Avenger and RWA Librarian Of The Year

Come As You Are- Sexuality And Romance: An Interview with Emily Nagoski, PhD (if you haven't already read her book Come As You Are, get on that!) 

 

 

Smartest Person In The Room

This is my friend Laura Tremaine's excellent show. It's organized by series, which allows her to focus on one topic for a period of time. Laura says she isn't the smartest person in the room but she knows who is. But I think the quality of her work shows she's one of the smarties too.

 

The Hollywood Series (Favorite episode: Production Designer Ethan Tobman)

The Religion Series (Favorite episode: Judaism as a Cultural Identity)

The Viral Series (Favorite episode: MTV's Ridiculousness creator/producer Shane Nickerson) 

 

 

StartUp

From its first season, StartUp captivated my attention. Gimlet Media cofounder Alex Blumberg showed listeners the very process of becoming a Startup, from his first pitch all the way to making Gimlet Media into something. After the first season, the show has gone in different creative directions but it always remains relevant. The more risks they take, the more I love listening.

Recommended episodes/seasons:

Season 1: start with How Not To Pitch A Billionaire

Season 2: Diversity Report 

Season 4 followed Dov Charney, the controversial founder of American Apparel. 

 

 

The West Wing Weekly

A must-listen for West Wing fans, they go episode by episode and give all manner of behind-the-scenes info. It is so fun hearing the hosts Hrishikesh Hirway and Josh Malina talk about the show and they've had some great special guests.

Start with Season 1, Episode 1: The Pilot.

Here's the episode list if you've already seen the show and want to skip around.

 

 

What Should I Read Next?

My friend Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy's podcast is a wonderful option for confirmed book nerds and those who want to read more. It is such a delight to listen to. The only problem is not being able to join in on the conversation! Plus, your To Read list might explode.

Recommended episodes:

#9: The Reality Of Bookworm Problems with Leigh Kramer (yep, I appeared on the show! My only regret is Anne was trying to keep the show at 30 minutes or less then so some of my snarkier comments were left on the editing floor.)

#31: Lifetime Favorite Books and Reading for a Living with Adam Verner (who narrates audiobooks!)

#44: Like Speed Dating, But With Authors with Annie Jones 

#66: Books that Glitter, Sparkle, and Pop with Megan Tietz 

#71: A Super Elegant Apocalypse with Knox McCoy

#80: Books that Make You Want to Skip Dinner, Work, and the Rest Of Your Life with Cori Jara

#81: The Suspense Is Thrilling Me with Chelsea Humphrey

 

 

Disclosure: Amazon affiliate links included in this post. 

The Best Kind Of Souvenir: UK Cover Edition

Before I went to Dublin earlier this month, I thought about what kind of souvenirs I'd buy, mostly to determine how much room I should leave in my suitcase. Jewelry was an obvious contender, as well as artwork, and then I prepared to see how the spirit moved me.

My friend Karen took me to two bookstores (Dubray Books and Hodges Figgis) my first day there. The UK often has different covers and sometimes even titles and I was completely enamored as I wandered past bookshelves and tables, finding my favorites (favourites?) and figuring out which cover I preferred. (Sometimes the covers were equal but the only time I didn't like the UK version was for my favorite novel A Prayer For Owen Meany. Perhaps the US covers are too iconic in my mind.) 

At Dubray Books

I  tried to talk myself out of buying everything I encountered. After all, The Likeness is one of my favorite Tana French novels and I hadn't planned on reading Eligible (the author is more miss than hit for me) but who could resist that cover?!

Then I had a bright idea. 

Before I left town, I'd been reading Strange The Dreamer by Laini Taylor. I was borrowing it from the library and it was due the day I'd get home from Dublin, with no option to renew. I never return library books late but I was only halfway through the book and there was no way I was going to get back on the wait list for a book I was loving. Laini Taylor is an amazing writer and if you haven't read her YA trilogy Daughter Of Smoke And Bone yet, you're missing out. 

What I'm trying to say is, if I was going to buy a book in Dublin, Strange The Dreamer would be the perfect choice. I checked the shelves and there it was- and in paperback, no less. It'll be at least a year before it's released in paperback in the US.

SOLD.

Plus I liked this cover so much better! Just look at the US cover. It's fine. Serviceable, really. But it can't compare to the UK cover.

I asked my roommate to return the library book for me and another late fee crisis was avoided!

The next day Chris and Micha arrived and we wandered down the same shopping area containing Dubray Books. After all my rhapsodizing, they wanted to go in. This gave me a chance to check out a few sections I'd missed before. 

Like this beautiful vision.

My eyes still cannot believe the glory.

Gryffindor and Hufflepuff

Do you know what that is, my friends? It's a display for the 20th anniversary versions of the first Harry Potter book. First, let's take a moment to digest the fact that Harry Potter has been in the world for 20 years.

Second, notice the title difference. In the UK, it's Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, compared to the US's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

Third, and perhaps most important, there is a book for each house. A BOOK FOR EACH HOUSE!

Now I've always had a tricky time figuring out which house I belonged in. I can see myself in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. Pottermore was no help, since I was sorted into Slytherin. As if! 

Looking at the display, there was no way I was going to leave empty handed. It was decision time.

My whole life people have told me I'm wise beyond my years so Ravenclaw it is.

Dubray Books has three floors, while Hodges Figgis has four and a wider selection of books by Irish authors. It's also the oldest bookstore in Dublin (established 1768!) and quite sizable. Unfortunately, I only took a few pictures at Hodges Figgis so you'll just have to trust me on how awesome the store is.

Hodges Figgis had one of the biggest selections of classic novels I've ever seen, many of which featured gorgeous covers like these. I have seen some of these covers, like this Penguin Classic hardcover of Jane Eyre, in the US but the rest may require more sleuthing or another trip to Dublin.

Yes, yes, another trip to Dublin sounds about right.

 

Disclosure: Affiliate links contained in this post.

The Next Right Step

Twin Cities. I rolled the idea around my mind and didn't so much as flinch at the association with winter. I knew but I didn't yet know.

******

"When a person is at home in his life, he always has a clear instinct about the shape of outer situations; even in the midst of confusion he can discern traces of the path forward." To Bless The Space Between Us- John O'Donohue p. 82

 

When I decided to move to San Francisco last spring, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I only knew the jar lid clicked and it was the next right step. A couple of weeks after I accepted my friend's housesitting offer, a job offer also materialized and just like that I was no longer moving there for a summer adventure.

I couldn't believe it. I still can't.

I moved to San Francisco sight unseen and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made. 

I told a friend the other week I feel like I've come into my own this past year. San Francisco with all its mystery, imperfection, and beauty has been what I needed for the past 15 months.

I moved without any expectations. It was my second big move and I knew this would be the bigger transition. I was open to however it would play out.

I was right: it was the next right step. Once I arrived, I realized it was a stepping stone to the next right step. Whatever it would be. 

******

Everyone told me to prepare for the fog.

When I drove across the Bay Bridge for the first time last June, the blue sky teased me with its beauty and the sun lured me all the way to my new neighborhood. My eyes flitted back and forth between the road and the view, all the while taking in my surroundings. My immediate thought was, "this isn't home." I shook it off, thinking it was just a reaction to how new and overwhelming everything was. I rationalized that Nashville had immediately felt like home because I'd visited a bunch of times before I moved there.

I needed to give it time.

In the months that followed, I found amazing friends and I've found so much to love about San Francisco, from the ocean sunsets to easily accessible pho. I could see why people wanted to move here and stay forever. Sure, I was regularly aggravated by the limitations of public transportation, the lack of parking, and how expensive it was to live here but I adjusted. While San Francisco continued to feel like a stepping stone instead of a permanent place to land, there wasn't an expiration date for living here. I thought I might stay one year, three years, ten years.

And yet if you want to live in this city, there are concessions to make. As I cast a vision for the rest of my life, I knew it wouldn't be sustainable to stay long-term. Eventually I'd have to make a decision.

******

I've learned a lot about how my intuition works this past year. There's the jar lid click when everything aligns and I'm ready to act. Before that, there's the tuning fork.

An idea pops into my head and my whole body stands at attention. It recognizes the call.

This is something.

Ponder it. Learn more. 

Whatever you do, don't ignore it.

This is the way forward. This is how you will align your life.

******

It was an unusually sunny day in late May. I sat on the patio reading All The Single Ladies and looked at the ocean every few pages. The book was blowing me away but it was hard to compete with the view. Plus, it gave me a chance to process what I was reading.

I read the chapter about what cities have meant for single women over time and thought about where I have a concentration of friends.

A second later, the Twin Cities popped into my head. I didn't dismiss it out of hand, even though I had sworn a few years prior I'd never live north of Illinois because of how much worse winter would be. It was hard living so far from family and friends, something I hadn't felt while I still lived a less than 8 hour drive away in Nashville.

I rolled it around in my mind and tried it on for size. It felt...right. 

I thought about my 6 year reprieve from winter extremes. I thought about just how many people I know in the Twin Cities.

I paid attention.

 *******

"There should always be a healthy tension between the life we have settled for and the desires that still call us. In this sense our desires are the messengers of our unlived life, calling us to attention and action while we still have time here to explore fields where the treasure dwells!" -John O'Donohue p. 26

 

Throughout the spring, I read a number of novels featuring librarians as main characters. It made me wistful. Librarian had long been one of my dream jobs. But you need a Master's degree to be a librarian and since I already have an MSW and had sworn I'd never go back to school, I thought it would stay a dream job.  

One Saturday in June I started to wonder just where exactly one would go for their MLIS. And how much it would cost. And how long it would take.

Surely it wouldn't hurt to learn this information. It didn't mean I was going to do anything crazy like go back to school and incur more debt when I was so close to paying off my student loans.

I searched. I read. I geeked out. I pictured myself working at a library and couldn't stop smiling. I looked at the map of schools. 

St. Paul arrested my attention. My heart began pounding.

Well, surely it wouldn't hurt to request information...

******

By the end of June, the jar lid clicked: I wanted to be a librarian and I was going after it. There was no denying how perfect this career path is for me: books plus systems plus organizing. Be still my heart! I mean: why didn't we think of this sooner?!

By mid-July, I'd settled on what school I wanted to go to.

In August I flew to the Twin Cities for what I privately called a vision trip.While I moved to San Francisco without first visiting it, I couldn't do that again. This wasn't my first time in Minneapolis-St. Paul but the last time I'd visited had been more than a decade prior.  

I stayed with friends. I got to see a few sights. I ate a lot of good food.

I absorbed how wonderful it was to be back in the Midwest.

It felt like home.

 ******

My last day in San Francisco is October 4. As you can imagine, I have a wild mix of emotions about leaving, including no small amount of denial. The past 15 months here have been incredible. Not all perfect but it's been a remarkable season of growth, renewal, and ocean sunsets. I'm excited about what's ahead but I am so sad to be leaving dear friends and have I mentioned I'll miss the ocean sunsets?

There is much that is unknown about returning to the Midwest. I'll be looking for full-time work and I'll need to apply for school but the plan is to freelance and start the next phase of education in June. I feel strongly I need to get out there and see what happens. As moving to San Francisco was the next right step that has led me to this next right step, getting to Minneapolis will show me what the next right step will be and I can't wait.

While part of me can't believe I'm moving again, especially back to a place with legit winter (hold me), I'm looking forward to being back in the Midwest. 

The Year Of Leigh continues on and I plan to enjoy the ride.

 

"Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you." -For A New Beginning, John O'Donohue